She dragged me toward the floodlights, shock and dread churning through my veins as she harped on. “Barnes told me everything last night, and the truth must come out!”
She squeezed my hand tighter then, as if in reassurance.
“I never dreamed this would happen when I brought Barnes to theBeverly Blondewrap party last year…”No, I thought, even as I did the math in my head.
“After I lost him, I thought he’d just gone to the bar…”No, even as Barnes’ fingers knotted into a mountain range over his brow, shielding his face from mine.
“Instead, he was locked in some filthy bathroom stall…”No, even as Shawn’s eyes went hollow, confirming the truth before Greta even said it.
“How could I have known Barnes fucked Shawn?!”
37
2015
SEASON 20, EPISODE 9:
“Shawn of the Bed”
PB brokered separate vans to the house, and mercifully Zara chaperoned ours despite Troy’s protests. “How could you miss capturing Barnes, Shawn, and Greta after your big bombshell?” she asked coldly. “Your Emmy’s in that pass van, Troy.”
Erika and Fortune joined me, Imogen, and PB, while Melange went with Shawn. “She figured they’d eat him alive,” Erika explained guiltily, rubbing my shoulder as she climbed in the van.
As we cruised the dark forest roads, I eventually snagged Zara in the rearview mirror and broke the silence we’d been marinating in. “Did you know? Was production just sitting on this?”
“I found out when you did, I swear,” she answered. I believed her. Unlike Troy.
Erika groaned, head against the smudged window. “Shawn had to be blackout wasted though, right? Like, how does anyone with an ounce of self-respect just instantly leap into bed with Barnes fucking Appleby?” Shecaught my face, wincing apologetically. “I just mean… I don’t see how this happened when they only met once.”
“Pretty easily,” Fortune volunteered, the last commentator I’d expected. “Once you’re in this world, you’re never really out of it. You see another member of the tribe, and it’s like dogs sniffing each other’s asses. The damage pulls toward itself.” He shrugged, eyeing me. “Hope that wasn’t out of line.”
“Not at all,” I said numbly. I’d never heard him speak so much.
The other van sped past then, racing us home, Troy no doubt itching for a confrontation.
“Here we go… Can you run interference while I get Luke inside?” Imogen asked PB.
“I’m not hiding,” I interjected.
“Bud, I might still be in your bad books, but trust me when I say that whatever you do tonight will absolutely air,” PB warned. “Don’t be careless.”
“No! Tonight is all I get. If I don’t hold him accountablenow, in the moment, he’ll get away with his crap all over again, and then I’m not only a coward, I’m an idiot too.”
“Is there anything we can do?” Erika offered, still so impossibly in my corner.
“Whatever happens, don’t get involved. This mess is beneath you,” I said firmly.
Imogen leaned in from the backseat. “Luke, you don’t have to do this alone—”
“That’s exactly what I need to do, and I want you all steering clear… especially Shawn.”
“Don’t tell me you want to protect fucking Mighty Mouse too?” PB griped.
I couldn’t process yet how every moment I’d shared with Shawn had been a lie. When he’d found me in the confessional after Bal’s tirade, when we’d spent those nights in Shanghai talking away, when I’d cradledhim in that death trap of a resort, when the awful video leaked… He’dalwaysknown. He hadn’t been jealous when Barnes arrived; he’d realized the jig was up. “I’m not protecting him. He’s irrelevant,” I answered. “So keep him out of my way.”
As we parked in the gravel driveway, I ripped at the van door’s handle, Imogen frantically crawling forward to stop me. “Luke, do not fire off like a damn missile—”
I shrugged her hand away. For the first time in weeks, I wasn’t concerned about what she thought. Watching the episode months later, I’d hear her muffled aside to Erika and PB as I barreled out of the van, captured in censored yellow subtitles below the footage: “Now is the worst time for him to revert to his loose cannon bulls***.”
