“Why?”
“Because somewhere in there will always be the boy I knew, no matter what he turned you into. Standing at the airport in Charlotte with your books, just a big blushing nerd tripping all over your own feet, not a goddamned clue what you’d gotten yourself into. I don’t know why but I just remember instantly deciding… I gotta look out for him.” She swallowed, rubbing her eyes. “God, I thought I had everyone’s number back then.”
“You did though,” I said quietly.
She exhaled, watching me sadly, searching for something in my eyes. “You know, sometimes I think I might be the loneliest person in the world. Never imagined you’d give me a run for my money.”
“No, I have the kids, I could never be lonely when I have them…” I was unable to follow where the thought led, my stomach punching into my spine, finally drawing out the tears.
She slid across the bench to wrap an arm around my shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, Imogen. I’m so sorry…”
“No, you’re okay. Everything’s okay.” She leaned me into her side, taking the burden of my weight. “Tell me about your kids.”
28
2015
SEASON 20, EPISODE 6:
“PB&J Sandwich”
We were fucked the minute they put us in a penthouse suite!” Melange bellowed from her harness. She was still coping better than Greta, who was currently curled in a ball. We’d soon be dangling from a seventy-story building, so the response wasn’t unreasonable.
In the “Stairway to Heaven” Tribulation, one partner would scale the Marco Polo from the sidewalk to the roof. They would ascend like window washers, perpendicular to the hotel, pulling themselves up a rope while sitting in a little satchel. Meanwhile, a special perversion was assigned their partners, who’d be suspended off the roof in identical satchels, hanging like carcasses at a butcher. Whenever the climber passed a checkpoint, their partner would in turn drop a floor. By the time the former scaled the tower, the latter would have plummeted fifty feet.
I was the only man who’d elected to hang from on high, but the strategy felt obvious. “I’m the heaviest guy here except for Fortune. It’s a long way to pull my weight,” I said to Imogen in the fleeting seconds we’d had to decide.
“Which means I will happily smoke Camdon myself,” she agreed.
Once I was on the roof and in my gear, there wasn’t much to do butstare at the countless construction cranes populating the horizon, as if another city lived atop the one beneath. Objectively, it was allinsane, but how many people had the opportunity to do this? Maybe I was just in a good mood after that morning’s call with the kids.
“You recognize me?” Imogen asked when she’d joined me at the laptop.
“Superwoman!” Wallace screamed as he leapt behind Andie, fists launched in the air.
“You’re on Daddy’s show,” Andie said, totally starstruck. “You always win.”
I’d asked Jenny to show them select excerpts from the first season only, but I’d underestimated the magic ofEndeavor. My kids had fallen in love with Imogen, and I could tell she was falling equally hard as they peppered us with questions. While some moments were as vivid as if they’d transpired the day before, others had totally faded. When Andie started chattering about the “Toucan Trivia” Tribulation, Imogen and I both turned to each other, faces identical:We did something with toucans?
“I knew lots of the trivia, almost as much as Arjun,” Andie boasted. A swift kick landed in my chest, hearing Andie of all people say his name. “Is he in China too?”
I imagined the blood was draining from my cheeks, but before I could respond, a light knock came at the cracked door. “Catering brought breakfast,” Shawn whispered tentatively.
“Who’s that?” Andie asked, eyes trained on me as God knows what expression passed across my face. Shawn froze, petrified, and even Zara’s eyes rose from her phone.
“Honey, that’s… Mr. Shawn,” I said, striving for upbeat.
“I can’t see you, Mr. Shawn!” Wallace yelled.
“You must be Wallace, huh?” Shawn inched closer to the screen, and I felt myself panicking.What was he doing?“Which makes you Andie.” He grinned nervously, crouching beside me as Imogen rested a steadying hand on my bouncing knee. Andie looked to Jenny for a cue,though my sister’s flustered expression betrayed that she recognized him from TV.
Since arriving in Shanghai, Shawn and I had spent almost every night talking into the wee hours, anecdotes braiding together with the shower gushing as our cover. I’d heard in detail how playing Rolf in his high school’s production ofThe Sound of Musicgot him interested in acting and how he’d then answered a Facebook message at eighteen inquiring if he wanted to “model.” He’d dutifully listened about my cold war with the soccer moms and my botched attempts at French cooking. If you tallied the hours (and the make-out sessions), we’d probably shared what amounted to ten dates. While we’d both deliberately avoided the topic of what happened once the show ended, the future was nonetheless on my mind. I’d even thought about him meeting the kids one day—but certainly not today.
“Your dad talks about you two all the time,” Shawn continued, and even across the Pacific I sensed Jenny internally combusting.
I forced a smile. “Well, we don’t want to steal Mr. Shawn from breakfast—”
