He sat there lording it over me, but I sniffed back any emotion, despising how on edge I was. “Look, her phone probably died.” He shrugged, softening. “I didn’t mean to be a dick.”
The flight attendants began their safety drill, and we remained silent until the half-hearted pantomime ended, when he nudged my elbow. “I was sorry to hear about your dad.”
My stomach caved, the last topic I’d expected. “You know about that? How?”
“The new producer who replaced Clem. Helena Malloy, the Australian lady?”
“So the whole cast thinks I returned for a televised pity party? Perfect.”
“Nobody thinks that, not of you.”
“I wanted it to stay private.”
He inhaled, jaw gently wavering. “I’ll guarantee nobody talks about it.”
“As if you could.”
“I most definitely can.”
I held his gaze, floored by how sincere he seemed. “But why?”
“Because I really am sorry.”
Barnes stayed by my side even after we landed, talking nonstop about everything from quittingLobby Boysto his tenure as UGA’s first openly gay student body president. I hadn’t recognized how quiet my life had become—and how thankful I was to have it interrupted. Lately my nights had been solitary affairs in which I prepped the next day’s meals while my evaporating father retired to bed, often before sunset. When I tried calling Jenny, she’d usually text she was “stuck in the lab,” but Imogen always checked on me. I tried not to belabor our chats and rob her of her own evenings in LA, but I always wondered… Is she seeing Arjun tonight? Will he ask about me? Will he call me? Do I even want him to?
Our plane was indeed the last to sneak into Providenciales before Tropical Storm Alberta carved her unseasonal path through the Caribbean, and Mary Peach was already more harried than the previous summer. With the season’s villa too vulnerable to the storm, we’d shelter at a faded resort, where the other cast members were already marooned in the lobby with their luggage. There were barely any other veterans from Season 1, but then I saw him—laughing by a random brunette. As Arjun intuitively revolved our way, I excused myself to the bathroom.
The first open door I could find was a janitor’s closet, where I sank between a glade of mops. Was my appearance fee worth the farce of Arjun cruising the female cast? Or worse, watching him sneak off with yet another oblivious guy?
Mary Peach was assigning roommates when I reemerged, right as my eyes at last met Arjun’s across the lobby. He involuntarily lit up, in the waythat just can’t be faked.But not again, I swore.Never again.I tapped Mary Peach and made the choice that would change my life. “I’ll room with Barnes.”
Our room was painted a muted rose, complete with a chalky stucco ceiling and decor that had likely been untouched since 1988. Only a giant board shielded the glass patio door from the incoming storm. Barnes flung himself on one of the wicker beds, his untucked shirt betraying the light dusting of sandy hair over his navel. “So Harry’s rooming with Draco.”
I tossed my duffel on the couch. “You’ve really got to get out of Hogwarts.”
“Killjoy,” he said, eyes blatantly on me as I bent over to unzip my bag. “Anyway, I’m going to shower while there’s still running water.” He casually doffed his shirt, freckles dotting his pale muscular shoulders until they abruptly halted halfway across his back. After months of training, he’d carved himself to beauty. I tried not to stare, fearing another disappointment, the toll of investing in another person, but I also couldn’t resist the temptation of knowing I could get exactly what I wanted. For once.
As he passed, I snagged one of his belt loops with my finger and pulled him closer, the soles of his feet scuffing across the tile. He suddenly looked so guileless, his tentative kiss shattering my fragile bravado. I found myself welling up, but he somehow stayed quiet as he gently embraced me. We stood like we were slow dancing at a party no one else had bothered to attend, not even the band, until he guided me to one of the two narrow beds, cradling me against the flat pillows. Eventually, I spoke about Mitch’s treatments and how Jenny barely visited, avoiding a crisis for the first time ever by burying herself in TA commitments. I even told him about “my ex,” a nameless murky figure until fifteen minutes later when, without any pressing, I revealed said ex was Arjun. Yet Barnes kept silent, letting me purge, the fluorescent from the bathroom our only illumination. There were so many tragedies I’d later learn he could have recounted—how his parents died of carbon monoxide poisoning while he’d been at a friend’s lake house when he was sixteen, how it felt to sell his childhoodhome and never look back when he left for college, how lonely so much of his life had been—but instead he let me speak, like no one had in months. It all felt safer in the darkness, the confessions I’d made, the urges to pull him closer and breathe in his sharp metallic cologne, still lingering even after hours of travel. When I finally kissed him, it was an act of hunger. Sudden, impulsive, foreign. I didn’t expect him to retract, his palm on my chest. “We can just talk. We don’t have to do more.”
“Do you not want to?”
“I just don’t want you to think I’m chasing a one-night fling because you’re the hot guy who won a reality show. I’ve seen how smart you are, how loyal, how kind—”
I kissed him again, and soon enough he was riding me, back arching as he doggedly guided me in, resorting to spit for lube. Once he was comfortable taking all of me, he reclined on his back, signaling me to stand and fuck him at the edge of the mattress. I felt relieved Barnes took control, his fingers gripping my ass, pushing me deeper and deeper inside him. As gentle as we’d been while talking, we grew rough while fucking, sweat drenching us in the airless room, palms eventually stifling our mouths to combat the paper-thin walls.
The knock came not long after we’d finished. Barnes grabbed his pink shorts, our cum barely dry across his chest. I saw nothing when he answered the door.
“Arjun!”
“Barnes. You… wow, you look very fit.”
“I’ve been training like a fiend sinceLobby Boyswrapped.”
“Right. I heard Luke’s rooming—”
“Oh, he’s asleep.”
“It’s eight o’clock.”
