“Season 20?! It started in 2003. That was twelve years ago.”
“Well, it’s the network’s number-one show, so they went to two seasons per year a while ago. Since it’s such a milestone, we’re contacting our most iconic alumni—”
“I’m not doing interviews—”
“Actually, Luke… we’re curious if you’d like to return as acontestant.”
I genuinely guffawed. “That’s very flattering, but I’m the definition of retired from TV. I’ve got two kids, and obviously you know I’m dealing with a pretty public divorce—”
“But doesn’t that make it the perfect time to reclaim your narrative?”
“Okay, this is the first time I’ve laughed in a month, so thanks forthat, but—”
“Listen, the show’s changed! You can call your kids every day, and you won’t be locked down the whole time like in the dark ages.”
“I cannot leave my kids foranyamount of time, sorry—”
“Luke, we’re offering you $250,000 just to board the plane.”
I halted, abruptly watching myself from outside my body, as if I were frozen in place while the earth rotated away, carrying me toward a distant horizon. “Plus $25,000 for each additional episode you appear in,” Troyadded breathlessly. “We want you bad.”
And just like that, the unthinkable became the only solution I could imagine to guarantee custody of the kids. Even if I lasted one episode, I’d be able to rent a modest house in Charlotte with enough left to tide us over while I found a job.
And I could beme. I couldn’t deny the appeal of reminding the world who I really was beyond scattered sound bites and tabloid photos. On my own. Withouthim. This could be my last chance to publicly correct my mistakes, right back to the first ones. The unforgivable ones.
“That’s not even counting the grand prize,” Troy exhaled. “For Season 20, the network wants to incentivize the cast to shine, a record sum foranyreality competition show—”
“How much?”
“$5 million.”
I breathed deep. Worst-case scenario, there was always the YMCA.
“Luke? Still there, bud?”
“I’m in.”
II
PANDEMONIUM
There he is!
Clutching the knees of power once again…
He wants to go on trial for his crimes.
AESCHYLUS,THE EUMENIDES
10
2015
SEASON 20, EPISODE 1:
“The Viper Room”
Why should I listen to anything you say?! You’re leaving us here alone!” Andie darted away from me, slamming the car door so forcefully Wallace burst into tears in Jenny’s arms. At least the silent treatment was over. She hadn’t said a word since the night before, when the kids returned from Barnes only for me to announce I was leaving the next day. Of courseEndeavorwould offer me a spot, then expect me to be on a plane seventy-two hours later. I’d fly from Reagan to JFK, then on to Rome. Beyond that, I had no clue what awaited—or who. I worried my abrupt departure would give Barnes ammunition to paint me as an absentee father in midlife crisis, but Evelyn swore it demonstrated I was actively seeking financial security for the kids in the most immediate way possible. Clearly the kids didn’t agree.
