“But Daddy loves us too. He thinks about us. He likes to be with us.”
Michael joined right in. “Right, but he’s old in love. When you’re old, and you have a family, you have to do it different.”
Zane bobbed his head. “And I’m not old, so I don’t know how that feels.”
Allie watched them both as if they were insane. “Okay, are we gonna make cookies for Santa?”
“We are. As soon as we finisheating.”
Allie turned to her cinnamon roll like a ravenous beast. “Okay.”
“Hey, Zane. What did you get Katie for Christmas?” Ellis asked, and Zane’s cheeks went red.
“I got her a bracelet; it’s got a little flower on it. She collects daisies, so I got it for her. I didn’t spend a lot of money or nothing…”
“I think that’s dear and thoughtful. Would you like to give her one of the cups that we have? There’s always extra cups.”
Zane’s eyes shot up to him. “Yeah? You don’t mind, Dad? I know that they cost a lot of money.”
He shook his head. “No, no, no. People pay a lot of money for these. They don’t cost a lot of money; they’re just a work of time and craft. I’d be tickled for you to go pick one out for her.”
“Cool, we’re going to have dinner together tonight because, you know, we got family stuff to do well, so I’ll get it to her then?”
“Cool. Sounds great.”
Zane walked off while Ichabod tried to remember how to breathe.
It sounded terrifying. How had he ended up having a son who was old enough to be dating? How did he end up being a dad to an almost sixteen-year-old who was about to start driving on his own?
And he was going to have to worry about him getting a girl pregnant or wrecking a car or making one of a ten thousand mistakes kids made because they weren’t grownups.
Because that was what kids did— make mistakes.
One of Ellis’s hands stroked down his back. “It’s okay, Dad. You’re doing good.”
“Thanks. This is the first girlfriend Christmas,” he explained to Joe, who nodded.
“I have sons. I understand this panic. It’s hard, but heseems like a solid kid. Smart.” Joe offered him a warm smile. “And you can tell your kids love you.”
“Thanks.” His eyes burned with tears as he squeezed Ellis’s hand. “You did a pretty damn good job with yours. I didn’t think after I lost my first husband that I would ever have feelings for anyone else again.”
Joe gave him a sympathetic glance. “How long’s it been?”
He took a deep breath. “Our surrogate was pregnant with our fourth. She’s three. So four years. Four years at Thanksgiving.”
Four years, and he still missed Chris, but thinking about him now made Ichabod smile.
“I imagine that feels like it was just yesterday and a hundred years ago all at once.”
“Yeah, both. I wish he could see Zane doing all of this. I wish he could see Michael with the horses. I wish he could have laid eyes on Chrissy and could see the patches on Allie’s Girl Scout vest, but—” He held his arms open. “I don’t have any control over that. All I can do is live my life and try to be as happy as I can, and Ellis does it for me. I love him, and I intend to make him happy.”
“That’s good to hear.” Joe gave him a smile, those deep-set eyes twinkling, the lines around him crinkling up. I want my boy to be happy, too, and I think you make him that way.”
From Joe’s mouth to God’s ear. Ichabod nodded. “I sure hope so.”
He looked over and met Ellis’s gaze with his own, trying to communicate that he meant it. Ellis chuckled and ate a sausage biscuit in a few quick bites. He seemed unbothered. Ichabod supposed that was good because he didn’t want Ichabod to be unhappy about what they had talked about before.
“All done, Daddy!” Allie held up her hands. She had consumed that cinnamon roll and half sausage biscuit so fast she was probably going to puke. But a promise was a promise.
