“I hate being in the middle of nowhere. I hate that you took my phone. I hate that you took me away from all my friends!” Zane slammed his hand down on the kitchen table. “This place sucks, and it’s your fault we’re here.”
“Are you sure?” His eyes burned, his temper bubbling up. “I mean, seriously? Did I start hanging out with gangbangers? Did I get picked up by the cops? Did I skip school and have to be put in in-school suspension?”
“You always bring this up! You are never ever going to forgive me, you asshole! Why didn’t you die instead of him?”
“I don’t know. Just lucky, I guess…” Ichabod was tired and frustrated. This house was falling apart, and he didn’t know how to fix it. He had work to do. Commissions. The kids were losing their minds, but there was so much danger in Denver for Zane they couldn’t go back. The problem was here he couldn’t drop the two little ones off at day care. Michael could play video games and be happy, but Zane was?—
Zane was fifteen. Zane had been grounded from his phone and was still earning apps back. Zane missed his friends, because even though they were piece-of-shit thugs, they were other teenagers. Zane was scared and out of his element and hormonal and pissed off at the universe.
Unfortunately, he was the adult center of Zane’s world and the focus of his son’s frustration.
It wasn’t like he didn’t understand fucking frustration.
There wasn’t a place close to take the girls, and he was trying to save some pennies. Michael was always in the damn barn, and there were gigantic animals out there that could hurt him. Zane was furious because he couldn’t drive, and he didn’t have any friends yet because school hadn’t started.
Now, there were things to do here at the property. There were thousands of things to do around the house and ranch, but none of them were fun. The little girls just wanted to play and have a good time, but he had to work. So that meant he was working from midnight to six in the morning, catching a couple of hours of sleep and then starting over again.
And if somebody didn’t take a nap, pretty damn soon he was going to have an absolute psychotic break with reality.
Chrissy started crying because he and Zane were snarling. “No, no yell. No, yells, Daddy.”
“Hey, hey, ladybug girl. Easy.” Zane scooped her up and patted her back. “No yelling.”
Ichabod had to give it to the kid. He loved his little sisters with a fiery, burning passion. It was Zane’s very best quality, as far as Ichabod was concerned.
“I’m all right, Chrissy, come here.” Zane held her, rocking her gently, and Ichabod was shocked to see tears in his eyes. “I’m just— I gotta get out of here, man.”
Okay. Okay, this was his son. He was the adult, and it was his job to help Zane navigate this, no matter how frustrated he was.
So, he took a deep breath, let it go, and then forced himself to bring the energy level down. “All right. I want to help you get out of here?—”
“You do?”
“Sure I do. I want a happy house, as much as you do—maybe more—but I need you to earn it. This house needs work, and I have to pay the bills.” He met Zane’s eyes, letting his exhaustion and love show. “And damn, Zane, I’mtired. I need your help. I can’t do this without you. You help me, and I’ll help you.”
“How are you gonna help me? Are you going take me back home?” Zane worked to keep his voice down thanks to Chrissy, which he respected the hell out of.
They were both trying.
Still, he was going to have to disappoint Zane. Ichabod shook his head. “No. We’re not going back to Denver. This is home. I guarantee you there will be friends. There will be kids your age. You need to be patient.”
“God, I can’t wait until I’m sixteen, and I can get a car. I can’t believe I’m stuck out here, man. It’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair.” He knew the words were harsh, but it was the truth.
Ichabod knew all about that. It wasn’t fair he’d lost his husband. It wasn’t fair he was raising four kids by himself. It wasn’t fair there were a bunch of people pissed at him. Everybodyin the whole damn world seemed to be mad at him because he’d ended up having custody of the children who got entrusted with the ranch. It sucked giant hairy donkey balls.
Thank God for Ellis.
The cowboy worked. Ichabod didn’t see him very often because there was so much to do, but the only time Ellis wasn’t at work was when, well, to be honest, was when Ichabod was busy throwing in the studio.
It was a shame, because Ichabod thought he and Ellis might be friends, if they ever had a chance to sit down together.
“So I’m going to be stuck here until school starts. No way to get out.”
Low energy. He was going for low energy, dammit. “You know what? Help me out around here, and I’ll drive you down to Aspen and let you hang out. I’ll take the girls and Michael shopping or whatever, and then you can go around by yourself.”
“I don’t know where people go to chill here!” Zane wailed with all the drama of a teenager.
