“Okay, yes,” she said. She noticed her hands were trembling and tucked them in her lap, underneath the table. “Yes, it was more than just flirting.” Her voice trembled as badly as her hands. Evie took a breath and tried to inject humor. “When was the last time you looked at pics from back then?” she said with a laugh. “Who could blame me?”
“Don’t do that,” Bryson said. “Don’t cheapen what happened between us. There was physical attraction on both our parts, but you know damn well it was more than just physical. I want you to admit it.”
“What’s the point in doing that now?”
“What’s the point in not?” he countered. “Why can’t you admit that you felt something for me back then?”
She glanced at him, then quickly looked away, afraid he would see the truth if he looked into her eyes.
“Ev?” he prompted.
“Bryson, don’t—”
“Why can’t you just admit it?”
“Fine!” She hadn’t mean to scream, but then again, she wanted to scream at him and never stop. It’s what he deserved for stirring up all these emotions she’d worked so hard to suppress over the years.
“Fine, you want me to admit that I had feelings for you?” she continued. “I had feelings for you.Realfeelings. I tried not to act on them, but I guess I failed.”
It felt as if her entire body were on the verge of bursting. Evie counted her heartbeat at least a dozen times before Bryson finally spoke.
“Was that so hard?” he asked. There wasn’t a trace of smugness in his voice for getting her to admit how she’d felt. Instead, she heard sincere curiosity coming from him.
“Honestly, it was,” Evie said with a laugh that sounded hysterical even to her own ears. “Back then, those feelings scared me. I’d just broken up with Cameron. It felt as if things were moving too quickly.”
Which, ironically, was exactly how she felt right now.
Butwasit the same?
She was so different from the girl she’d been back then. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that Bryson wasn’t the same guy who’d walked away from her without a word?
“It’s not moving quickly enough for me,” he said. “I tried to pretend that I could just be your friend, but I can’t. I want more, Ev.”
Evie pressed her fingertips into her left temple and beganmassaging it again. This was the last conversation she’d expected to have when they’d sat down for dinner. But now that they were having it, maybe she could finally get answers to the question that had plagued her for the last eight years.
“And I can’t give you anything more without knowing why you left in the first place.”
There. She’d said it.
For so long she’d told herself it didn’t matter, but deep down she’d known that was a lie. Not knowing why Bryson left so abruptly had affected her life in ways she refused to acknowledge for the longest time.
Whenever Cameron brought up setting a date for the wedding, a nagging feeling would creep into her head, impeding her from taking that next step. This was the reason. Wondering why Bryson left. Wondering what she could have possibly done to send him running.
Wondering what could have been if he had stayed.
She was too much of a coward to ever put voice to that thought, but Evie knew in her heart it was true. Wondering what could have been with Bryson had made it impossible to marry Cameron.
She’d suppressed that question for so long, but now that he’d insisted they address it, she wanted answers.
“You want to clear the air, Bryson? Let’s do it. Tell me why you left without so much as a goodbye. Actually, no.” Evie held up her hands before he could speak. She was suddenly overcome by the fear of hearing an answer that she wasn’t sure she could handle. “Forget I said that. It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does,” Bryson said.
“It doesn’t—”
“It’s what’s standing between us, Ev. I’ve owed you an explanation for years. Let me… let me finally give you one.”
There was a plea in both his eyes and voice that she couldn’t ignore, and she wondered if he had been seeking to unburden himself for as long as she had been seeking answers.
