“About you training me,” he clarified.
“Oh,” Taylor said. “Oh, of course.” The meaning of his words sank in. “Oh,” she said again. “So does this mean you’re ready to make your intentions to return to the NFL public?”
He vigorously shook his head. “Not yet.” He took a sip of coffee, then set the mug on the counter beside him. Shoving his other free hand into his pocket, he hunched his shoulders and continued. “I just thought it was time to bring Micah into the fold. It will be his job to set up the workout for teams when I’m ready to showcase my skills.”
“Okay. That sounds good.” She wrapped her hand around the bottle cap, but didn’t twist it open. She just continued to stand there like Bambi caught in headlights.
After several uncomfortable moments ticked by, Jamar asked, “So, about what we did in the pool house. Are we just not going to talk about it?”
She uncapped the kombucha and took a much too generous sip. The spicy, fermented drink hit her throat like liquid fire. Jamar came over and patted her back.
She put a hand up. “I’m okay.” She coughed again, then finally said, “Um, not talking about it was kinda my plan.”
He dropped his head back and groaned up at the ceiling.
“Taylor, come on. We can’t just pretend nothing happened.”
“Why not? We’re great at pretending. It’s sorta our thing.”
“I’m not pretending,” he said. “Not this time. Not anymore.” His intense stare burned a hole straight through her. “How am I supposed to act like nothing happened when all I can think about is how it felt to be inside of you yesterday?”
Goodness. Why didn’t he just light a match directly to her Fruit of the Looms?
“Don’t say things like that,” Taylor pleaded.
“Why not? It’s true.”
“Because sex wasn’t part of the playbook.”
“Forget the playbook!” He ran both hands down his face, then up and around his head. “Are you going to stand there and tell me you’ve been faking this the entire time? Has it all been just an act?”
A simple yes would put an end to his interrogation. She could put this subject to bed right here, right now. But despite this ruse they’d been engaged in for the past month, lying never came easy to her.
“It doesn’t matter one way or the other,” Taylor insisted. “We’ve gone over all of the reasons why this can’t be anything more than what it is.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Don’t do this,” she all but begged.
“No.” He closed the distance between them. “I’m not letting you off the hook this time. I want you to be honest with me. Am I the only one who’s feeling this?”
She closed her eyes. “Jamar.”
“Tell me, Taylor.Tell me.”
It was the fierce plea in his voice that wouldn’t allow her to deny him a second longer.
“No,” Taylor said. Her throat ached as she pushed out the word, a hoarse whisper heavy with implication.
She caught him by the forearms and gently but firmly pushed him back a few inches.
“I need to explain why this is so hard for me.” She opened her eyes and stared into his. “And don’t you judge me when I do.”
“When have I ever judged you? Other than for the vegetables you try to feed me.”
She managed to chuckle despite the tightness pulling at her throat.
“I know we’re technically not trainer and client anymore. And, honestly, the status of our working relationship shouldn’t even matter after weeks of the public believing we’re a couple. But the truthdoesstill matter to me.”
