Her chest tightened. It did that whenever she considered the idea she’d been gnawing on for the past few weeks. Well, for the past year, if she were being honest.
“I think I want to change my goal,” she blurted.
“Really?” London asked. “So youdon’twant to grow Taylor’d Conditioning?”
“No, I do! That’s always my goal. I just . . . I guess I want to go about it a different way.” She thought about chickening out, but she knew both Samiah and London would hold her accountable. They wouldn’t allow her to use the eight hundred reasons she had locked, loaded, and ready to fire at the first hint of fear.
Before she could talk herself out of it, Taylor said, “I’m thinking about going back to school to get my degree in fitness and nutrition.”
There. It was out in the universe. No going back.
“Ah, okay. That’s cool,” London said.
“Good for you,” Samiah followed.
That’s cool? Good for you?Did they not understand how freaking terrifying this was for her?
Then again, why would they? Neither of them knew about her complicated relationship with school. They were both ridiculously smart women who had probably breezed through high school and college. She doubted they had any concept of the fact that forsomepeople, the thought of sitting in a classroom was enough to make one break out in hives.
“This is a big deal,” Taylor said. She put a hand to her knee to stop it from bouncing under the table.
“Of course it is,” Samiah said. “You’ll be working full time while going to school, right? You should try bullet journaling to help organize your schedule. I’ve heard it helps you stay on track.”
“It’s not about my schedule. It’s about . . . about the stress of it all. Going back to school would be ahugedeal for me. It’s . . . Just forget about it,” she said.
“We’re not going to forget about it. The whole point of this project is to help each other achieve our goals. If your goal is to get your degree, we’re going to help you do that.”
Taylor wondered how far that offer of help extended. Would they be willing to complete all her assignments and take the tests for her? Becausethat’swhat she needed from them.
Stop! If you’re going to do this, you’re going to do it on your own.
Once she decided to do something, she rolled up her sleeves and got things done. A bootstrapper, through and through.
But was this the right move for her?
“I’m still not sure this is something I evenwantto do,” Taylor said. “I’m thinking about it, that’s all.”
“Maybe you should do more than just think about it,” London said. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, but a degree will open a lot of doors for you. You could find something even better than that homeschooling job.”
Taylor knew exactly what she was missing out on because she lacked a college degree. Just days after the homeschooling job had fallen through, she’d been offered her dream job—the kind of position that would elevate Taylor’d Conditioning in a way some stupid viral video never could.
But it, too, had been snatched away.
The server arrived with their bill, and even though London insisted on paying for the fajitas she would be taking home with her, Taylor’s stomach still performed a triple backflip when she added her credit card to the leather check holder. This was her emergency credit card. Dining out at a restaurant she couldn’t afford didnotcount as an emergency.
No amount of mental gymnastics could justify her irresponsible spending.
Night had completely fallen by the time they made it to the parking lot. London gestured to Taylor’s car. “Will you be okay navigating the twists and turns down this hill in that thing?”
“Hey! Nessie is not a thing,” Taylor said, patting the hood of the thirteen-year-old Nissan Sentra she’d inherited from her brother. Her finger caught on a rust patch, but she’d be damned if she showed any sign of pain.
“Why don’t you drive ahead of me so that I can keep an eye on you? Just to be safe,” Samiah said. She held up a phone. “Give me about five minutes to return Daniel’s call.”
Taylor knew any argument would be futile when it came to these two. She had to admit, it was nice to know they were looking out for her.
Her hands started to tremble as she slipped behind the wheel of her car, the enormity of what she’d done tonight crashing down on her. Now that she’d shared her intentions about earning her degree, she could no longer come up with a reason not to do it.
Taylor dropped her head on the steering wheel.
