“We’ll definitely be indoors next time,” Taylor said.
The smiles on both women’s faces grew wider as they looked past Taylor and waved.
“Hi! I’m a big fan, Diesel,” the brunette said.
“Thanks,” he answered.
The deep timbre of his voice caused more goose bumps to pop up along her skin. Taylor kept her back to him, even after the two women withdrew from the area she’d commandeered for this morning’s class. She needed a moment to gather herself.
“Taylor,” he called.
Anxiety knotted in her stomach as she turned to face him.
He still had his hands in his pockets. Any passerby who saw him would presume he was the epitome of relaxed and unbothered, but she noted the strain in his broad shoulders, the lines marring his forehead and bracketing his mouth.
“Hey,” she said, her heart pounding steadily against her rib cage.
“Hey,” he returned. He nudged his chin in the direction of the two women who’d just left. “Did I hear you say you aren’t taking on any clients?”
“Not anyone new.” She picked up her yoga mat and rolled it up so that she’d have something to do with her hands. Tucking it underneath her arm, she said, “A couple of my old regulars contacted me. I’ll be working with them and offering a few popup classes here and there, but I don’t want to take on too much.”
“Because of your ankle?” he asked. “Is it healing properly?”
“My ankle is fine,” Taylor said. She straightened her shoulders, any vestiges of modesty floating away on the wave of pride that swelled in her chest. “I don’t want to take on any new clients because if I do as well as IthinkI will do on the college entrance exam in a few weeks, I’ll be starting classes full-time when the winter semester begins.”
A small smile lifted one corner of Jamar’s mouth. “You registered to take the exam.”
“And I requested testing accommodations: extra time to complete the test and a proctor to read the questions out loud.”
“Good.” He nodded, his throat undulating as he swallowed.
Intolerably tense moments ticked by as they stood there facing each other. Disquiet filled the space between them, a cloud of unspoken words weighing heavy in the air.
“Did you see the press conference yesterday?” he asked.
“Yes. I think the foundation is a wonderful way to honor Silas’s memory.”
“Yeah, I think so too.” He glanced at the ground, then brought his eyes back to her. “I’m sorry, Taylor,” Jamar said, the words exiting his mouth on an achingly soft whisper. “I know sorry isn’t enough. There’s no excuse for the way I spoke to you the day you left, especially because you were right.”
Her brow arched. “Was I?”
“I was never going to accept a contract from any team. I’d made that decision while I was still on that call with Micah. But it was irresponsible for me to even consider going through with the workout after feeling that pain in my knee.”
“Were you the one who called it off?” she asked.
He nodded. “I had Micah contact the teams yesterday morning, about an hour before the livestream was supposed to start.”
“What made you cancel it?”
“It’s like you said, it wasn’t worth the risk. Knowing I wouldn’t play ball, no matter the outcome of the workout, it just didn’t make sense to put my body through that.” His gaze caught hers and held it. “I realized performing for those teams wouldn’t give me the one thing I’ve truly been seeking: Silas’s forgiveness.”
Taylor pulled her trembling bottom lip between her teeth, her throat tightening with empathy over the anguish she heard in his voice.
“Everything else I said I wanted, it was all bullshit,” Jamar said. “This was about Silas. It’s always been about Silas, about me trying to make up for what I stole from him. I’ve always known that in here,” he said, tapping the center of his chest. “But when you pointed it out that day in my office, it just . . . it hit me in a way I wasn’t ready for.”
“Hurting you was not my intention,” Taylor said, but then she stopped. Shaking her head, she admitted, “That’s a lie. Ididwant to hurt you. I wassofurious that you let Micah talk you into going through with that workout. I didn’t think past my own anger. I should have, and I’m sorry.”
“No, I needed to hear it,” he said. He cast his eyes downward and toed a thin branch that had been carried by the wind. “I found out that Andrea, Silas’s sister, has known this whole time that Silas left the party to look for me. She knows that I ignored his calls that night, yet she doesn’t blame me for what happened. I figure if Drea can forgive me, maybe one day I’ll be able to forgive myself. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.”
