“No!” Jamar sat up in his chair and glared at the screen. “I’ve been busting my ass in that gym. I’ve worked harder for this than I’ve ever worked in my life.”
“So why the hell do you want me to call this workout off just days before it’s supposed to happen? I have reps from a half-dozen teams—teams I had to convince to come here because no one believes you’re ready to play ball. I promised them that this wasn’t going to be a waste of their time. I put my reputation on the line for this, Jamar. Not justmyreputation, but Hill Sports Management’s.”
As he listened to Micah rant, Jamar fiddled with the face mask on the mini Longhorns football helmet he kept on his desk, anything to avoid looking at the computer screen and the disappointment he knew he’d find staring back at him.
“I know you have a lot riding on this too,” Jamar said, swallowing past the thick layer of guilt coating his throat.
“Yeah, I do. Which is why I deserve an explanation,” Micah said. “What’s behind this change of heart? How’d you go from being willing to put everything you had into returning to the League to all of a sudden backing out? I thought this is what you wanted?”
“I did,” Jamar said. “You know I want this.” He paused before spilling the truth. “I just don’t think my knee will be able to hold up.”
“You said it was strong—”
“Iknowwhat I said. I thought it was, but I’m not so sure anymore.”
“I expected more from you,” Micah said. “You’ve always been straight with me, Jamar. When you say you’re going to do something, you do it. Have you thought about how this will look once the rest of the football world finds out about it? They’re going to think you chickened out.”
Jamar sat up. “How would it get out? I told you to have the teams sign an NDA.”
“A nondisclosure doesn’t mean shit in the age of Twitter. Do you think this story won’t leak like a fucking sieve if I have to go back and tell these scouts ‘Oh, never mind, he’s decided he’s not up to playing after all.’ Give me a fucking break, Jamar! You know how this business works!”
He did know, which was why he went to such lengths to keep his plans a secret. This is exactly what he’d feared would happen.
He’d been denigrated by nearly every blogger and podcaster in the sports world. The message boards were filled with faceless assholes who thought they had the right to criticize him. They went on and on about his downfall from being the most exciting rookie in years to a has-been in the span of a few games. He’d endured their ridicule and had vowed not to be fodder for any more of their stories.
“This is why I didn’t want it to get out,” Jamar said in a strangled whisper. “I knew the backlash would be brutal if I failed.”
“Jamar, have you thought this through?” Micah asked. “Why don’t you take a day or so to reassess. The workout isn’t until Friday.”
“Taking a day or so won’t make that twinge in my knee go away,” he pointed out.
“Has a doctor seen your knee?”
“It’smyknee. I don’t need a doctor to tell me that something isn’t right. I can feel it,” Jamar said. “Even if I did manage to get through the workout, I honestly don’t think it would hold up past training camp.”
“Will it hold up past the workout?” Micah asked.
Jamar cut him an incredulous look. “What does that matter?”
“Hear me out,” Micah said. He placed his elbows on his desk and tapped his fingers against his lips. “It won’t be easy, but there’s a way that you can still save face, even if you never play another down of professional football again.”
Jamar hated to admit just how high up saving face was on his priority list. There were so many more important things he should be concerned with, yet his mind chose to focus on all the naysayers who’d called him a has-been, and how humiliating it would be to admit they were right. If Micah had devised a strategy that would help Jamar avoid that, the least he could do was hear him out.
“How do you propose I do that?” Jamar asked. “You don’t think those team reps will be eyeing my knee like an eagle?”
“It doesn’t matter what the reps think. All you have to do is convince thepublicthat you can still play. The key is to spin it in a way that makes the teams the bad guys here.”
Jamar shook his head. “I don’t know about this, Micah. There are no bad guys here, just bad luck. I got hurt. It happens. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with it, but I now understand that no one is to blame.”
“Fine. You’re enlightened. You’ll still be dragged like a rag doll on Twitter if we cancel.”
“How do you think you’re going to stop that?” Jamar said. “You still haven’t explained how I can save face by going through with this workout.”
“We’ll open the workout to the media.”
“I told you—”
“Hear me out,” Micah repeated, holding up his hands. “I know you wanted it to be private, but that does you no good. Let the people see how far you’ve come. GiveSportsCentera few shots for their highlight reels. You make some key catches, add a little razzle-dazzle to a few runs, and you’re set. We can still hold it at the facility on UT’s campus, because that coming-full-circle shit is ratings gold.
