“Collins?Collins!”
Startled by his boss’s uncharacteristic bellow, Daniel snapped to attention.Shit.He hadn’t even noticed that Dwyer had joined the meeting.
“Sorry, sir,” Daniel said. “What was that?”
“How quickly can you be back here for the in-person debrief? I want you here by tomorrow afternoon, at the latest,” he tacked on, not giving Daniel a chance to respond to his initial question.
“Well, I guess that means I’ll be there tomorrow,” he replied.
Dwyer’s curt nod signaled that the matter was settled. Daniel slouched in his chair and listened as the rest of the crew gave a quick rundown of where things stood with their current operations. He knew he was deep in uncharted territory when he couldn’t scrounge up an ounce of pleasure over news that Bryce Stewart’s job had suffered a setback. There was no room for gloating here. They were all on the same team; they all had the same goal. Putting the bad guys away.
And they all had to make sacrifices in order to get the job done. Daniel just never thought his sacrifice would be so fucking painful.
Once the meeting wrapped up, he logged off the computer for the last time and packed up the four external hard drives, securing them in the laptop case he would carry with him on the plane. He checked his email and saw that a flight had already been booked for him for ten a.m. tomorrow morning.
His eyes fell shut.
Daniel felt raw. It took several tries before he was able to swallow past the knot of thick emotion lodged in his throat. He doubted he’d ever get past the hollowed-out feeling in his chest. The hole there couldn’t possibly be filled.
He shut the lamp off on the desk and made his way out of the darkened room. He found Quentin in the kitchen sipping on a bottle of chocolate milk, his butt perched against the counter.
“How’d it go?” Quentin asked. “You the star of FinCEN?”
Daniel shrugged. “I did my job. That shouldn’t make me a star.”
“Bullshit. This wasn’t an easy win. You deserve to celebrate it.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not really in the mood for celebrating.”
Quentin took a sip from the bottle, then said, “I know you’re feeling like shit right now, but you did the right thing.”
“Of course I did the right thing,” Daniel said. “And we have four people in custody to show for it.”
“I’m talking about thatotherthing. The thing you had to do in order to get the job done. She’s going to be pissed at you, but if what you had was real, she’ll eventually forgive you.”
Daniel leaned against the counter, his limbs suddenly lacking the strength to support him.
“Go to her,” Quentin said.
His head popped up. “Are you crazy? She would probably run me through with a knife.”
“I’m sure she would feel justified in doing so,” Quentin said with a nod. “Just take the stab and keep going. Explain as much as you can without jeopardizing the case. Like I said, if it’s real, you’ll get past this. Remember the story I told you about how my wife and I met? You think it started out all sunshine and roses?”
“I’m guessing that’s a no?”
“That’s a hell no.” Quentin glanced down at his chest. “There are a few cuts under these clothes.”
Daniel managed to crack the first hint of a smile he had been able to muster in the last twenty-four hours. “This is probably a bad idea,” he said.
“What would be worse? Her slamming the door in your face—after spitting in your face,” Quentin said. “Or you leaving Austin without ever speaking to her? Are you prepared for how shitty that will feel when the numbness wears off in a few days? If you think you hate yourself now, you have no idea what you’re in store for. Go to her,” he repeated.
He was right. Daniel knew he couldn’t leave without making at least one attempt to talk to Samiah. But, if he did, he would have to give up this twisted sense of comfort he’d found in speculating whether she hated him. Wouldn’t it be easier to always wonder rather than go to her and have it confirmed?
Fucking coward.
Exhaling a weary breath, he pushed away from the counter. Quentin did the same.
“I’ll more than likely be out of here by the time you get back,” he said. He set his drink down and held out a hand.
