She pushed up from the chair and thanked Justin for the opportunity. Having the chance to mold this new endeavor into her own vision was intoxicating. But as she made her way back to her office, all she could think about was what she would have to give up in order to make it happen.
***
The deluge that had sabotaged their plans to hike the Walnut Creek Trail continued to pound against the floor-to-ceiling windows of Samiah’s living room. Other than the occasional ding from the elevator or a faint car horn blaring from twenty-one stories below, the steadily intensifying rain provided the only sound throughout the condo.
It had been this way for much of the morning. Long stretches of comfortable silences were interrupted by Samiah’s sporadic musings about the new position she’d been offered at Trendsetters. Daniel glided his fingers lazily through her hair, massaging her scalp as she continued to debate whether she should take it.
He felt her stiffen a moment before she sat up.
“Oh, my God, I’m an idiot,” Samiah said. “Why didn’t I think of this sooner?”
“Have you figured it out?” he asked.
“Yes, of course! Well, I’ve figured out why I’m having such a hard time figuring it out. It’s because I haven’t made a checklist! I need to write down all the pros and cons.” She started to rise, but he gently stayed her with his palm.
“No list-making,” Daniel said. “You said you were going to relax today, remember?”
“I tried. It’s not working. How can I relax with this all up in the air?”
Daniel lifted her head from his lap and scooted down to the opposite end of the sofa. He claimed her right foot and started to knead the sole of it with his thumbs. Her eyes fell closed and she released a satisfied groan.
“Okay, run it by me again,” he said. “What are all the reasons you want to take the job?”
Her eyes still closed, she started ticking the list off with her fingers. “For starters, I would be a department head. It doesn’t even matter that it’s only a department of one for the time being. That kind of thing looks great on any résumé.”
He squeezed her foot. “You planning to start sending out résumés?”
“No, but I don’t take anything for granted. Something can happen tomorrow in the tech world and Trendsetters can tank. I learned a long time ago that the key to being in control of your own destiny is to always be prepared, no matter how safe things may feel now.”
“Smart woman.”
“Thank my dad for that.” She sat up, balancing on her elbows. “Another huge notch in the pro column is the fact that I get to create this department from the ground up. Trendsetters is basically giving me carte blanche to mold it into whatIwant it to be. It’s hard to turn down that kind of power.”
“I knew that had to be a part of it.” He chuckled. “Power is quite the seductress.”
“Can you blame me? I’m not in this job for my health; I’m in it to get ahead. But the best part about all of this is that running this Outreach Department will put me in a position to help other people get ahead too.”
“So it’s not just about you getting ahead.”
“It’s never just about me,” she said. “I always have to consider how I can help those coming up behind me.” She folded her arm over her eyes and released a regretful sigh. “That’s what makes this such a hard decision.”
“I’m not sure I follow,” Daniel said. “So far, everything you’ve laid out has been a pro. Are there any cons at all?”
She nodded. “A big one.” With another sigh, she said, “If I accept what Trendsetters is offering, I will have to put my whole heart in it. I’m looking at months of ridiculous hours at the office until Aparna is able to transition full-time into my current job.”
And just like that, Daniel recognized where this was leading.
“You would have to put your app on the back burner,” he said as understanding dawned.
His throat constricted at the resignation in her brief, dispirited nod.
“Exactly,” she said, her voice small. Crushed. “I’ve been working on this app for years, Daniel. The deadline for submissions for the FITC is just a few weeks away. If I accept this new position, there’s no way I’ll have enough time to get the app ready before the deadline. I’ve never had the kind of momentum behind it that I do now. If I don’t make that deadline, I’ll probably never see it through.
“So, essentially, a yes to Trendsetters is a no to my own dreams.”
Daniel hated the defeat in her eyes. He smoothed his palm over her calf. In a quiet voice, he said, “Well that answers the question for you, doesn’t it?”
“No, it doesn’t. It’s just the opposite. I’m left with an impossible decision and I have no idea which path I should choose.”
