She shook her head, but took a sip from the plastic water bottle that had been strapped to her hiking belt before answering. “No, I was never going to be a teacher,” she said.
After it became obvious that she had no plans to elaborate, Daniel asked, “So why…?”
She lifted a long, spindly branch from the ground and began drawing curlicues in the soft earth.
“Even as I sat in all those early childhood education classes, I knew I wasn’t going to teach. I’ve known that I wanted to work in the tech industry—and not just as a computer science teacher—since high school.” She released a sigh. “But I didn’t want to disappoint my mom and dad. They were both teachers. My sister is a teacher who went ahead and married a teacher. Education is a big deal in my family.”
“I get that,” he said. Pursuing higher education and military service were a given in his family.
“Anyway, I stuck with it so that I’d have the degree. My dad has this saying: The world will always need teachers and nurses, so as long as you have a degree in either of those fields, you’ll always have a job.”
“Nursing?”
“Hard pass. The sight of blood makes me queasy.” She tilted her head. “Come to think of it, I have the same reaction at the thought of teaching a bunch of fourth graders.”
Daniel shook in an exaggerated shudder, drawing a laugh from her.
“So, you went through four years of undergrad, got your degree in education, and then did it all over again to earn the software engineering degree?”
“At least I already had the prerequisites out of the way,” she said with a shrug. “And because I absolutelylovedwhat I was learning, it was way more interesting the second time around.”
His gaze fixed on her profile, he wondered how many layers there were to her that he had yet to uncover.
“I think you would have been an amazing teacher,” Daniel said. “But it would have been a waste. You kick ass at your job.”
“Thank you.”
“Seriously, you’re amazing. I’ve watched the other lead engineers, and not a single one has the kind of command over their team that you do. I hope Trendsetters realizes how lucky they are to have you.”
“Oh, believe me, they do. I knowexactlyhow valuable I am, and I make it a point to remind them on a regular basis. I am the rarest of rarities: a diversity unicorn.”
“A what?”
She ticked items off on her fingers. “I’m young, black, female, and I know my shit. I check off nearly all of the diversity boxes. I’m worth more than gold to companies that want to show how incredibly ‘inclusive’ they are.”
The sarcasm dripping from her words gave an indication of just how she felt about that.
“But there’s more to it than just checking off boxes,” he said. “They wouldn’t have hired you just to fill some quota.”
“I did say that I know my shit,” Samiah said, her grin the very definition of cheeky. But the earlier lightness in her eyes had dimmed. “I’ve earned every single bonus and promotion I’ve ever received. But, still, it can be exhausting.”
“How so?” he asked.
She stared contemplatively at the surrounding foliage. After several weighty moments drifted by, she pointed the branch she held to a spot on the ground. “Do you see those ants?”
Daniel looked to where she pointed. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the monotonous color palette, but he finally made out the ants walking in a single-file line through the terrain of fallen leaves, slippery rocks, and disturbed earth.
“Yeah, I see them,” he said.
“You see the ones carrying the pieces of leaves? Their burden has to be ten times their body weight, yet they’re faithfully carrying it, because that’s just what has to be done.” She pushed at a rock impeding the ants’ path. “That’s my existence. The pressure to be perfect is overwhelming.”
“No one expects you to be perfect.”
She looked over at him, her expression indulgent, as if pandering to a naive child. “How long have you been in this industry?”
“Long enough.” Daniel nodded, feeling a touch foolish now that he realized where she was going with this.
“I’m sure you’ve suffered through a few uncomfortable moments as a person of color in the tech industry,” Samiah said. “What you’ve experienced? Multiply that by ten and it’ll give you a taste of what I face on a daily basis. Women in general have a hard time being taken seriously in this industry, but a black woman?” She huffed out a humorless laugh. “We’re not expected to be good at math and science. We’re not expected to understand lexical analysis, or method overloading or any of the concepts that we all work with every single day. It feels as if I’m living under a microscope, Daniel. As if I’m expected to fail at any moment.” She pointed to the ground. “And like that ant, I’m carrying the weight of so many others on my shoulders.”
