And after the way she’d run off this morning, he may have just spooked her enough that she would never be ready.
After he’d laid his heart bare during the two truths and a lie game, they’d returned to the cabin in silence. Leah claimed she was tired and needed a nap. For a moment Caleb had considered pressing her into talking it out. His desperation to clear the air and explain his words clawed at his conscience, but he figured he’d done enough damage already. Instead, he’d grabbed his fishing rod and an energy bar and made his way to the pond.
Fishing had always done wonders for clearing his mind. At least it usually did. It wasn’t working as well today. Being out here with only his thoughts made him want to throw himself in the water.
Shit, maybe he should see how much it would cost to hire an Uber driver to bring him back to Jersey.
“More than you make in a week,” Caleb said with a grunt.
It wasn’t as if running back home would do much good anyway. They lived right next door to each other, for crying out loud. Did he think he could avoid Leah forever?
Caleb felt a tug on his line and reeled it in, only to come up with a thicket of mossy weeds. That was par for the course based on the way his morning was going.
He cast his line farther this time and stood at the edge of the wooden pier, looking out over the tranquil stillness of the water. He waited for the peace he usually found while fishing, but it just wasn’t happening. He could forget about clearing his mind today.
Since his regrets were already piled higher than the mountain peak poking the low white clouds overhead, Caleb decided to heap on yet another regret. With his free hand he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked his email, even though it was against Katherine and Geoff’s rules for the weekend.
It occurred to Caleb that this was the first time he’d even thought about anything work related since he arrived at Camp Firefly Falls. The main reason for his original fishing trip was to figure out what to do about his job, but he’d been so preoccupied with Leah that nothing else had a chance to creep into his head.
Ninety percent of his inbox was filled with junk mail, but Caleb’s throat tightened when he noticed the one from Juan Rodriguez that had come in late last night. He stared at the subject line for a full minute:Just checking in.
Clicking on that email was akin to closing his fist around a double-edged sword. It would slice him open, no matter what he found. If he opened it and read that Juan was doing just fine after taking that job in Maryland, it would make Caleb question why it was takinghimso long to get over what had gone down four months ago. If Juan said that he was still in a bad place, it would make Caleb question whether or not he was doomed to live in this state of limbo for the rest of his life as well.
Either way, it would screw with his head.
After several more minutes passed, he decided to pull up his big boy shorts and open the damn email.
The more he read, the bigger the smile that gradually crept along the edges of Caleb’s lips grew. He could always count on Juan to lift his spirits. Even though they’d only worked together for a little over two years before everything went to shit during the Bergen County prostitution sting, he and Juan had developed a friendship that would no doubt last a lifetime.
Caleb’s chest grew tight as Juan explained that he was doing great in his new job, but that he still thought about the case often. Apparently, his friend saw those three young girls that Tommy McCain had held hostage in his sleep as well. God knows it still gave Caleb nightmares.
Maybe one day, eventually, they would both find some peace.
Caleb couldn’t help but laugh when he got to the end of Juan’s email and saw the picture his old partner had attached. It was of Juan and his two sons at a Washington Nationals game, all decked out in New York Yankees gear. He and his partner agreed on a lot of things, but baseball was never one of them.
He hit reply, but closed the draft email before typing a word. Juan deserved more that a quick email, and Caleb wasn’t in the right headspace to type out a thoughtful response just yet. He would reply to his friend later.
As he slipped the phone back into his pocket, he finally felt a bit of that peace he’d been searching for. Knowing that Juan was moving on, yet could still admit that the McCain case popped into his head from time to time, gave Caleb hope. Maybe he was ready to return to the field, after all. If his old partner could do it, so could he.
There was nocouldabout it. Caleb knew what he had to do. It had just taken him a while to get here. When he sent that email to Juan, he would also send one to his superior at the DCJ.
He’d just cast his line back into the water when he heard footsteps making their way toward him. He turned just as Leah reached the bucket of bait he’d brought in from the camp. They both stood there for a moment staring at each other, until the silence became too much to bear.
Caleb reeled his line in and set his fishing rod on the deck of the wooden pier. He wiped his hands on the sides of his pants before stuffing them into his pockets.
With a hunch of his shoulders, Caleb admitted, “I’m not really sure what to do here, Leah. Should I apologize?”
She slipped her hands into her pockets as well. Mimicking his shrug, she asked, “Are you sorry that you said what you said?”
“I am now. It doesn’t change the truth behind it, but if I’d kept my mouth shut maybe you wouldn’t feel the need to stand three feet away from me, like I’m a serial killer or something.”
“I’m sorry about that,” she said as she moved in a step closer. “You just…you threw me with that admission earlier today. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“I know I did, and I’m sorry.” He rubbed the back of his head as he released a deep breath. “But it’s not as if we can just pretend it never happened, Leah. At this point the cat’s already out of the bag. Be honest, the cat’s been out of the bag since we got here.”
Her expression was a mixture of distress and confusion. “I thought it was just a little innocent flirting.”
“So what happens now that you know it was more than that for me?”
