“Fuck,” I cursed as I rolled off my bed and groaned, getting to my feet. My back was killing me after working on the farm all day yesterday, and I was sure it was going to be worse after the fireground operations today at the station. I’d told myself I was going to go to bed early last night, but Logan had stayed up late again watching her shows and I couldn’t bring myself to get off of the couch until she’d gone to bed.
I moved around my bedroom as quickly as possible, grabbed a pair of pants and a T-shirt from the floor and started to throw it on, but quickly recoiled at the smell. I needed to do laundry. Wearing only my boxers, I ran to the laundry room off the dining room, taking my dirty clothes with me. I tossed them in the wash and then opened the dryer to find some of my work clothes had already been cleaned. Logan must have done this yesterday. I made a mental note to thank her, pulled the pants out and putthem on quickly, and then tossed on the shirt. Running my hand down my body, I felt something clinging to the fabric from the static. I grabbed it, and my eyes snagged on a pair of Logan's panties. My brain immediately short-circuited, flashing back to that night she’d been in the shower tugging these down her body until she’d been on full display for me.Fuck.
A door opened behind me and I knew it was hers. I quickly shoved her underwear in my pocket and closed the dryer, as if my hand had just been caught in a damn cookie jar.
“Oh, I thought you would’ve been gone already,” she said on a yawn.
“Good morning.” I gave her a small smile, physically having to stop myself from going toward her. “I’m headed that direction now, and I’m very late. Don’t wait up for me for dinner tonight. It’s going to be a long day,” I warned as I moved through the living room to where my work boots were waiting for me by the door. I hopped on one foot to put one sock on and then the other, sliding my boots on quickly before grabbing my keys. I was about to rush out when I was pulled up short by Tony, who was sitting in front of the door as if asking me not to go.
Damn dog.
But I couldn’t stand the sad look in his eyes, so I kneeled and petted him, telling him I’d be back soon before hurrying out of the house.
Damn, I hadn’t even had time to brush my teeth. Had I even put deodorant on? It was alright. I always kept some in the truck.
I had so much shit to do today. There was an entire list of chores waiting for me on the refrigerator for when I got home from work, regardless that I’d be staying late today. That was the rule: you show up late and you made up for it. Fuck, I was tired of always having work on work.
I tore out of the driveway, kicking up gravel on my way.
Once I made it to the firehouse, the day went by in a blur. It started with a quick reprimand about timeliness, and then I dove right into a mix of classroom instruction and hands-on practical exercises. The indoor work was standard—we covered safety protocols, new equipment, and revisiting the basics at least once a week. The real action came after lunch. That was when things got intense.
A large prop building had been built for us to train in safely. It was essentially a giant, simulated disaster zone, complete with burn buildings, collapsed walls, and all sorts of specialized training tools. It had been set up to mimic real-life situations as closely as possible, so we could practice everything from hose deployment to search and rescue. We rotated through different stations, focusing on ventilation techniques, forcible entry, and handling high-pressure scenarios while trying to keep everything as controlled as possible. The sounds of the sirens, the heat from the controlled burns, and the chaos of it all made it feel almost like the real deal. It was a rush every time, and you never really got used to it.
Having been part of this team for nearly two years now, I felt pretty confident in my skills. The coordination, the communication, the way we all instinctively moved as one—these things had become second nature to me. But even with that experience, it was never a good idea to sit on one’s laurels. There was always something new to learn or a better way to approach a situation. And with new recruits constantly comingand going, it was important to not only stay sharp for myself, but also to help bring them up to speed.
Training with the rookies was always a bit of a double-edged sword. On one hand, you had the challenge of leading by example, teaching them the ropes, and making sure they didn’t make rookie mistakes. But on the other, their fresh perspective could sometimes remind you of things you'd forgotten or overlooked. It was a good balance: pushing myself to be a better firefighter while helping the team grow stronger together.
By the end of the day, I was completely wiped out. My muscles ached in places I didn’t even know existed, and I could feel the heat exhaustion creeping in, making everything feel heavier. All I wanted was a shower to wash the sweat, grime, and tension from my body. But even as I was heading to the truck, I knew it wasn’t just the physical weariness that was dragging me down. My mind was running in circles, thoughts piling on top of one another, and the weight of it all felt like it was pressing against my chest.
Some of the guys invited me out for a drink, but I politely declined, like I always did. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate their company—they were good guys, solid. But it always felt safer to keep my distance when being a serial killer was my side hobby. I told myself that anyway, but I thought deep down it was a defense mechanism, one I’d gotten too comfortable with over the years. I’d been determined to not let anyone get too close.
That was, until Logan had come crashing into my life. I couldn’t even really pinpoint when it had happened—whether it was the first time I’d seen her in that grave or when she’d looked at me with that half-smile or when she'd whacked me over the head with a bedpost. Maybe that was it. She’d knocked something loose inside me. My mind had been neatly locked up, compartmentalized. I was careful with everything, always had been, whether it was killing or firefighting. But suddenly, Icouldn't stop thinking about her. I hated that she had this power over me. I was used to control, to knowing what came next, but with her . . . everything felt off balance.
I ran a hand down my face as I started the truck, trying to shake the thoughts of her out of my head, but her panties were still burning a fucking hole in my pocket. I took a steadying breath. I had more important things to focus on, like the mountain of work that awaited me. I headed to the Evergreen Haven’s office. Logan might’ve already gone through the emails and calls, but the place had still been a disaster last time I’d been there. I needed to clean it up sooner rather than later so when I opened for people to come buy Christmas trees, I wouldn’t be scrambling. That was just one of the things on my ever-growing to-do list. I needed to go grocery shopping, chop more firewood for the house, and prune and shape the next section of trees. Logan and I had only gotten through the first batch a few weeks ago, but the bigger ones always took longer. There was always something else to do.
The list just kept getting longer, suffocating me more and more. I needed to inspect the fences, make sure no deer or animals could get in and cause damage. I had to mow between the rows, apply herbicides, or hell, maybe this year I’d just do it manually to save some money.
With every passing mile, my chest tightened. The weight of everything—work, responsibilities, the farm, and that damn infatuation with Logan—was starting to crush me. My head was buzzing, and I could feel the familiar knot in my stomach. My breathing became shallow, and suddenly, I couldn’t ignore the pressure in my chest. It felt like an elephant had climbed right on top of me.
I couldn’t breathe. I pulled over to the side of the road, the truck barely coming to a halt before I put my forehead against the steering wheel. I closed my eyes and just . . . tried to groundmyself. My heart was pounding in my ears, and I had to force myself to slow it down. I’d been here before, but somehow that didn’t make it any easier. Sometimes, I wondered if it would ever get better, if life would ever slow down a little or if this was just the price I had to pay for everything I’d built.
But in that moment, all I could do was focus on the rise and fall of my chest, steadying myself so I could keep going. Once I pulled myself together, I made it to the office, quickly parked, and went inside only to find it . . . spotless.
Logan hadn’t just gone through missed calls and emails these past few weeks. She had cleaned the whole office. I could still smell the lingering scent of lemon cleaner against the pine. I swallowed and took a deep breath. A small weight lifted from me now that there was one less thing I needed to worry about. I locked up and got back in my truck and headed to the house.
I pulled up and parked, hopping out. Tony was sprawled out on the porch as if he had been waiting for me to come home all day, lifting his head before sauntering over to me, wagging his tail.
“Hey, boy,” I greeted just as he jumped up on his hind legs to get closer to me. I petted him and chuckled and then helped him back down. I got up the steps of the porch and headed inside, and the house had also been cleaned. I walked over to the refrigerator for some water and when I opened it, it was full from a fresh grocery haul. When I closed the door, I glanced at the list I always kept hanging there so I could mark stuff off as I went and a few things have already been done that I hadn’t gotten to yet. Logan had done all of this? Suddenly, all of the burden I’d been feeling relaxed, and a relieved breath shuttered out of me.
“Logan,” I called out, but the house was quiet. She wasn’t here, or at least not inside.
It was already dark out, the kind of thick, early-fall evening that settled fast and made everything feel colder. Maybe she’dgone to her place to grab something? Though, that seemed unlikely. She never went anywhere without Tony, and I swore I’d seen her truck in the driveway when I’d pulled in.
I moved through the kitchen, glancing out the windows as I passed. The place felt hollow without her energy in it. Fuck, I shouldn’t care about that, but I did.
I stepped through the sliding back door, and that was when I saw her—just a faint silhouette illuminated by the porch light in the distance.
She was at my chopping block.
