The elevator doors opened with a soft chime.
I stepped inside without responding, pressing the button for my floor with numb fingers.
The doors closed on my landlord's concerned face and the view of reporters visible through the front windows.
If it wasn't one thing, it was another.
My life felt like a warzone now, where I never got peace and there was no hope of peace talks.
In fact, with the secret I was keeping, I knew it would only get worse.
Now they were haunting me at home, threatening my place of shelter.
And what if they wouldn't go away?
Would he kick me out?
I let the tears fall as I pressed the button for my floor and wished to God I'd never left San Diego.
It might've been a circus, but at least I had a safe place to hide in my parents' house.
Maybe it was time to tell Nate I had enough, that his father was right and I should just leave and go home to California.
It might be the only way to let Nate survive this with his dignity intact.
Except it would come at the sacrifice of my heart.
18
NATE
The hospital auditorium was packed with medical students, residents, and a handful of board members who'd come to hear my lecture on advances in pediatric cardiology.
I'd given variations of this talk dozens of times over the years, but today the words felt forced, my focus fractured by the woman sitting in the back row.
Ember had insisted on attending despite my suggestion that she take the afternoon off.
After my conference last week, she told me she felt obligated and today, she'd shown up wearing a loose sweater that seemed to swallow her frame.
But her face looked pale to me, a bit gaunt like she'd slept poorly for a few days.
Even from the podium, I could see the shadows beneath her eyes and fatigue pulling at her eyelids.
I pushed through the presentation, discussing what miraculous advances were taking place in the pediatric realm, but all I could do was think of her.
It was obvious she wasn't feeling well, and my fear was that the stress was getting to her.
She'd been painfully open with me about how the headlines and social gossip were affecting her, and I felt mostly to blame for it all.
When I reached the final slide and opened the floor for questions, I had to force myself to focus on the young resident asking about perinatal advancements and in-utero surgical techniques.
The answers seemed widely applauded and accepted, but I just wanted to be done with it all and move on.
The lecture ended to polite applause and I gathered my notes and stepped down from the podium, making my way through the crowd toward where Ember stood waiting near the exit.
She offered a fragile smile.
I wanted to take her into my arms, but with things so volatile, I knew better.
