Physical attraction, no matter how intense, wasn't enough to sustain a relationship long term, and when all of this started, it'd been nothing more than sheer lust.
But that had changed for me.
What I felt for Ember went deeper than carnal desire now.
It had blossomed into a love that I would never be able to extinguish, so strong, even the worst things she could possibly say or do to me would never quench the flame.
I walked to the window, looking out over the parking lot where a few cars remained scattered across the empty spaces.
Whatever was going on with her, I wanted to help her with it.
I wasn't going to push, but I wasn't going to just let her deal with it alone, either.
She deserved someone to look out for her, and I was that man.
I gathered my things and turned off the lights, locking my office door behind me.
I had a long weekend to put some thought into things and figure out how Ember and I could survive the next three months and put the gossip behind us.
Because one thing I knew was that I didn't want this to end.
I wanted Ember Harrison in my life permanently, but that just meant being delicate and discreet about things for the time being.
After that, it was no holds barred.
And even my father wouldn't change my mind.
17
EMBER
The office felt too quiet without Nate.
He'd left for a medical conference in New York early this morning, texting me from the airport to confirm he'd be back late tomorrow evening.
I'd responded with a brief acknowledgement and tried not to think about how much I already missed him.
I knew it was coming—after all, I was in charge of his schedule—but it didn't make the missing him part any easier.
What it did do was reduce the pressure on me to hold it all together and keep a professional smile in place while at work.
The past two weeks had been a careful dance of pretending everything was fine while my body betrayed me at every turn.
Excusing morning sickness as the flu would only last so long, and I'd dodged a few invitations to come to Nate's house for what I knew would evolve into sex because if he touched my boobs, I was going to snap.
But outside of all that was my growing fear that this pregnancy was going to erupt into a scandal worse than San Diego and it would inevitably hurt Nate.
Being at the receiving end of that myself, I felt horrible even thinking that it could go that far.
I didn't want to hurt him.
But today, with Nate away and no public appearances scheduled, I could finally breathe.
I'd dressed in my loosest clothing, bypassed my usual coffee in favor of ginger tea, and settled into my desk chair with a stack of correspondence that needed organizing.
The work was mundane but soothing, requiring just enough focus to quiet the anxious thoughts that had become my constant companions, and I sailed through morning into midafternoon feeling less stressed than I had in weeks.
By three in the afternoon, I'd made significant progress on updating Nate's filing system and I leaned back in my chair and allowed myself a moment of satisfaction and rest.
