Thomas Reed had one thing right.
The Lightkeeper was supposed to be a man of honor, and I'd failed Ember in that one thing I had promised to uphold.
It was time I made sure she understood my true intention.
Because I refused to lose her.
They’d keep pressuring us, but I swore to myself, right then and there, I would find a way to make this work.
Even if it was the hardest, most humiliating thing I ever did.
15
EMBER
I woke to my alarm, but it was the bitter taste of stomach acid at the back of my throat that made me sit up.
I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, letting the hot water run over me while trying to gather the energy to face another day of gossip and speculation.
My breasts ached when I raised my arms to wash my hair, and the nausea that had become my morning companion made my belly churn enough that I had to pause by the toilet for a moment after climbing out.
I dried off and dressed slowly, choosing black pants and a loose gray blouse that wouldn't cling to my chest because I was a wimp and sometimes it hurt to breathe too deeply.
When I looked in the mirror, I saw a woman I barely recognized.
I looked tired and worn out, and it was more than just the stress that was doing it.
The constant whispers that surrounded me were bad, but the fear inside my own thoughts was worse.
In my heart I knew the truth, that I was pregnant with Nate's baby, but I just couldn't force myself to accept it.
And I was too nervous to do anything about it yet, because if this town thought it was horrible enough when they were only speculating a relationship, they'd go nuts over a surprise baby.
It'd only confirm their negative thoughts more.
My phone rang as I was applying concealer to hide the worst of the shadows under my eyes.
My mother's name flashed across the screen, and having not spoken to her in weeks, I knew I couldn’t just ignore her.
It was my tendency to run when things got too challenging, but hiding from Mom had never been a coping strategy for me.
"Hi, Mom," I answered while I continued to dab makeup on my face.
"Ember! I was hoping to catch you before work." Her voice was warm, reminding me of how much I missed being home and seeing my family every day. "How are you, sweetheart?"
"I'm good. Busy with work, but good." I was anything but good, though I didn't want her to worry, so I just faked being happy and hoped she didn't catch the hint of emotion in my tone.
"That's wonderful. Your father and I were talking last night about Thanksgiving, and we wanted to know what your plans were. Will you be able to come home for a few days?"
I walked into my bedroom and sank onto the edge of my bed.
With Hearthkeeper duties I hadn't even stopped to think about how to handle the holidays and going home.
"I'm not sure yet. The Hearthkeeper duties are pretty demanding through the holidays."
"The what duties?"
I'd mentioned the Lightkeeper ceremony in passing during our last call but hadn't gone into detail.
