He'd been joking about the sex of the baby for a few days, ever since I asked him to join me at today's appointment for the first sonogram.
Though, we both agreed that we wouldn’t find out the sex until I delivered.
"Funny," I said, rolling my eyes, but I followed him through the doorway and down the hall where the nurse parked us in an exam room.
Nate hovered over me after setting our things down, and I climbed onto the exam table and let my feet dangle.
He took my hand and kissed my knuckles before leaning down to kiss my cheek too.
"You're going to make an incredible mother, Ember."
I smiled, not sure what to say about that, because of all the things I knew I was good at and felt confidence in, mothering wasn't one of them.
Especially since my own mother lived so far away, and she had no clue I was even pregnant yet.
I hoped to surprise them at Christmas but every time we spoke, I nearly let it slip.
"Alright, Daddy Claus," I said, poking his belly mockingly to break some of my tension.
Nate had affectionately adopted the nickname now, and I sort of liked it.
He looked ready to respond to me when the door opened and Dr. Barga breezed in with a smile and one truly ugly Christmas sweater half covered by her lab coat.
"How's the happy family today?" she asked, pulling up her stool to the sonogram machine.
"We're good, thank you." I watched her don her gloves and prepare the machine. "I'm excited to see the baby."
"What about you, Dad?" she asked, glancing up at Nate, whose chest puffed out pridefully.
"As long as Momma is good, I’m good." He patted my knee reassuringly and then helped me lie back.
Ten minutes later, my belly was slathered in cold goop while Dr. Barga slid the paddle around, pausing every few minutes to take a picture and show us.
The rhythmic whir of the baby's fast heartbeat brought tears to my eyes and made it all feel so real.
I marveled, shedding a few tears, at how incredible technology was to allow me to see my unborn baby in such explicit detail.
"It looks like you," I whispered to Nate after seeing a little button nose.
"He'll be smart like you, though," he said, squeezing my hand, but I could see the tears in his eyes too.
"And we're still waiting to find out the sex when you deliver?" she asked with eyebrows high and the screen turned away from us momentarily.
I watched Nate's brow furrow and then he looked at me with a playful eyeroll.
"Yes, we're waiting, but I'm taking bets at work that it's a boy." He chuckled, and I swatted at him, though I did tell him if he won that betting pool, it meant I got a mani-pedi at thirty-nineweeks to make sure my fingers and toes were delivery-room ready.
When the sonogram was finished, Nate escorted me out with his hand in the small of my back.
It still felt odd being seen in public with our being intimately connected like this and not bracing for some nasty comment.
For the most part, people had started to talk about other things, though every now and then, we still heard a faint whisper or chuckle nearby.
But outside of those rare occurrences, life was showing me that things could return to normal without having to go to extreme measures.
"Want to go to the bakery with me? I heard they have gingerbread on sale right now." Nate stood by his car, waiting for my answer as he glanced up the street a block.
It was cold today, but not bitterly so, and I had a bit of extra energy after seeing the baby and being so excited.
