“The truth is, Cora,” I said, swallowing down my pride for the only creature worthy of it, “Without you, I won’t survive the year.”
She didn’t ask if I meant it. I did. And when she gave me her answer, I knew without doubt she was meant to be mine.
“I’ll think about it.”
CHAPTER 11
CORA
So,I thought about it, and the thing was… I couldn’t tell if I was saying no because I thought that Ishouldsay no, or because I actually wanted to. Sometimes you can disagree with your parents very strongly, and still somehow internalize some of their beliefs. I cared enough about being open-minded and compassionate that I held my ground even when it meant they wouldn’t speak to me, but was there still a small part of me that didn’t want to make that rift permanent? Probably.
But I had something in common with all the daernir males on BMM, and that was loneliness. I had no one to count on, and that was scary enough to drive me to sell my attention to aliens. I just didn’t expect to enjoy their company so much. And why were they so much easier to connect with than humans in general? If I met human Qhev and human Yiri? Oh boy. My life would be a lot more exciting. But… itcould bethat exciting, couldn’t it? I’d have not just two new people in my life, but a whole new world to learn about and explore. New cultures, new stars to look up at at night.
So after a night of no sleep at all, I did the dumbest thing I could possibly have done. I drove three hours to the EotEcompound, where my parents lived under the watchful eye of Ricky.
“I’m here to see Tom and Donna Keaton,” I said at the gate. “I’m their daughter.”
I was allowed through the gate, but only a few yards to a small building reminiscent of an outhouse, where I was told to wait for Mom and Dad. It took thirty minutes, and I was almost coming to my senses, ready to leave, when the door opened.
Tom and Donna had changed a lot in the last two years since I’d seen them. Their hair had gotten grayer and a lot longer. They wore matching work boots, jeans, and brown long-sleeved shirts. Even their ponytails matched, and so did the distrustful scowls on their faces.
“Did you come to repent?” Mom’s voice was as waspish as ever. I guessed some things hadn’t changed.
“Uh, no. I wanted to talk,” I said.
“We have nothing to say if you’re still supporting the abominations happening in the world,” Dad said.
“Do you ever miss me?” I asked. They stared back at me, but I pressed on. “Do you think about me and wonder how I’m doing? If I’m okay? Happy?”
“Of course you aren’t okay,” Dad said. “You’re living out there, giving up your rights and bowing down to the alien overlords.”
“Okay, but I didn’t give up my entire savings and retirement,” I said. “I can come and go as I please. I don’t have to run it by Ricky before I make a phone call. I’m not sure what rights you think you have in here.”
“The right to our humanity!” Mom said, balling her fists. “You’re so determined to rebel against us that you can’t even see the wrongness of the life you’re living.”
“What am I doing that’s so wrong?” I shouldn’t have asked. Stupid when I already knew the long list of things she would say.
“Let’s start with your whorish clothes,” Mom said, waving her hand up and down my body.
I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. It was hot out. It was hardly whorish.
“Okay,” I said. “This is going off the rails fast. I just thought you might like to know that I’m thinking about getting married. But I guess that was dumb of me. Why would you care now?”
“Well, at least you’re not leaving the planet,” Dad said, sounding deceptively reasonable, if totally incorrect. “What does your fiancé think of all this alien stuff?”
I couldn’t hold in my bark of laughter. “Uh…well, he’s into it. Because, you know, he’s one of them. So. There’s that.”
Mom shrieked and tore out of the little one-room building, running away across the compound. Dad stood, tight-lipped and seething in front of me for a long, silent moment while Mom’s screams echoed in the distance. Dad shook his head after a moment and turned to go.
“Don’t come back here, Cora,” he said. “You’re dead to us.”
I watched him go with a tight ball of string unraveling in my belly. With every step he took out of my life, I felt a little less tangled up inside. Less conflicted.More free. It still hurt, of course. I’m not made of stone. Being disowned by my parents hurt. But we’d had worse fights in the past, more hateful words spoken between us. At least this had some finality to it.
I left the compound and drove back into the nearest town before it really hit me.You’re dead to us.How could a father say that to his daughter? His own flesh and blood? I made off easy where mom was concerned. She might have called my outfit whorish and run away screaming, but that was far from the worst she was capable of.
I pulled into a gas station and parked the car. I felt like I might cry for a few minutes, but the tears didn’t come. Mom and Dad cut me out of their lives a long time ago. I always kindof thought they would eventually come to their senses, but what if they didn’t? And honestly, what if theydid?Could I just let bygones be bygones and work my ass off to pay for their care in old age after they squandered their retirement on a cult and treated me like a pariah? Like I’m nothing? A stranger?
I called Yiri for the first time. He was always the one to call me because I had yet to grasp the length and timing of their days and nights. It could be an ungodly hour. I had no idea. Maybe I should hang up and message him instead. But fuck that. He wanted to marry me, and I wanted to talk to him, so I let it ring.
