“I want to be with your brother,” I said and held my stomach.
“Okay. So tell him that.”
The ball in my throat swelled. “I don’t think the answer is as simple as that. I’m…” I motioned to my stomach. “Not as simple as that.”
I was surprised Harper didn’t sway with how hard she rolled her eyes, but then she lifted her arms in mock surrender.
“All right, maybeyouaren’t that simple, but my brother definitely is,” she insisted. “And I’m telling you that the way helooks at you now is no different than he has for the last four years.”
The way he looked at me last night from the shower was definitely different. Better. Complete. But I refrained from telling her that.
“So you think I should just waltz back into his house and tell him I feel the same way about him?”
“No.” Harper’s eyes twinkled.
“What?”
“Forget telling him. Just go back there and kiss him.”
Something between a laugh and a choke sounded from my chest. “No, I can’t just…do that.”
There was so much to say. So much to apologize for. To figure out. And we hadn’t even scratched the surface of what had happened last night.
“Why not?” Harper pulled off my hat, her earnestness silencing me. “He’s your husband, Daisy. I think that’s exactly what that means.”
Chapter 21
Daisy
My time with Harper didn’t end after the tour of her apiary.
Even though I was feeling marginally better after our conversation, I wasn’t ready to go back to the house and face Max yet.
So after we left her hives, she took me over to Nox’s barn-turned-glass-blowing factory. He wasn’t there, but Harper walked me through his burgeoning operation and then proceeded to show me the custom beehive-shaped containers he’d fabricated to jar her honey.
We stopped at a restaurant for lunch before heading into Friendship. Harper had errands to run—a stop at Frankie’s candle shop, a few minutes in the Stonebar Farms store where Ailene plied us with blueberry scones and fresh maple butter, and then some time at Jamie’s woodworking shop. Harper was coordinating with Violet about the specs of the new support stands for her new hives.
It was dinnertime by the time we finished, and Vi invited us to join their family for sloppy joes. Harper offered to take me back to the house then if I wanted, but I didn’t.
I wasn’t ready.
Somehow, the four years I’d spent concealing my feelings for Max sat like a boulder on my chest. Not crushing me, but like a weighted blanket. Somehow, it had become soothing to only want him in secret. Safer to desire him in the shadows of slumber. It buried the beats of my heart under something that was as impenetrable as it was inescapable.
I could long for Max in secret because there was no chance of getting hurt. And I could simultaneously fight to make things work with Todd because he wasn’t a threat to my heart. He never had been.
Now, that boulder was gone. Lifted. My heart, freed to beat and ache andbewith him.And risk getting hurt.And that was what frightened me.
So Harper and I accepted the invitation to dinner and spent a few laughter-filled hours with Jamie, Violet, and their kids before calling it a night.
By the time Harper’s bug took the turn to Max’s driveway, daylight was in short supply.
“Thanks for everything today, Harper,” I said when we reached the end of the drive, my hope hollowing out when we pulled into an empty parking pad. Max’s truck was gone.
“I think he’s at the farm,” Harper said, and I looked over. “He’s been texting me all day—and no, I haven’t responded except to provide proof of life before he sent the whole state out searching for you.”
I managed a weak smile. “Thanks.”
“Are you okay?”
