“No, I shouldn’t have said that,” I said, pressing my hand to my forehead and then holding it protectively over my stomach. “This is just a lot for me right now, and all I can think about is the baby. I have to figure this out for her. I will figure this out for her,” I said, my voice quieting. “I appreciate everything, Max. I truly, truly do. I just…”
“I understand,” he said so I didn’t have to finish.
My throat swelled tight. How many times had I called Max in the past? Todd and I would argue, and I’d get in my car and drive, and then call him. No matter how many ways I explained it, Todd didn’t understand why I wanted certain things. Why I clung to my independence. And when I couldn’t get through to him, I told everything to Max. I used to think it was because I’dhoped he could get through to Todd. Now, I had to wonder if it was simply because I knew Max would understand.
“Thank you for the clothes. And the apartment. And the job.” I needed to accept that I needed help right now. It wouldn’t be forever. It wouldn’t be my undoing.I was going to be okay.
When he didn’t say anything for a beat, I turned to him, my breath catching at the intensity of his gaze.
“Max…”
He closed the space between us, his knuckles instantly propping under my chin and lifting my face to his.Kiss me.The thought sprang unbidden from the insane corner of my mind, and I quickly shoved it aside.
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Daisy,” he murmured with a rough voice, his stare impossible to break. “Nothing.”
His eyes dropped to my parted lips, and for a second, I thought he’d heard my insanity, that he’d heard my ache to kiss him, but then his arm fell to his side, and he backpedaled several paces. He speared his fingers through his hair, gripping the strands hard before releasing them. For a blip of a second, I imagined my own fingers clenching his hair.
“I’ll…umm…see you in the morning.”
“Yeah.” I swallowed down the urge to ask him to stay and nodded. “Goodnight, Max.”
“Goodnight, Daisy.”
I watched him leave, feeling my heart beat into the front wall of my chest a little harder, like it wanted to go after him. Just to have him hold me again. But I couldn’t.
I could accept his generosity, but I couldn’t afford to want more. No matter what he said, the way he’d put an ocean of distance between us when I got pregnant spoke volumes. I couldn’t afford to want one more person it would kill me to lose.
Chapter 10
Daisy
“You have to try my blueberry honey.” A mini scone slathered in dark blue goo appeared in front of me, Harper’s smiling eyes begging me to take it.
“I shouldn’t…” I groaned, feeling my mouth water from the scent. I’d already tried two other toasts layered with some of Stonebar Farms’ famous jams, and I’d only been in their flagship Friendship store for ten minutes.
“You definitely should,” Harper insisted, winking when I took the treat. “It was Max’s idea.”
I didn’t think I had pregnancy cravings. With the morning sickness that no one mentioned could extend beyond the first trimester, it was sometimes hard to believe I could even crave food at all. But lately, all I wanted was berries. Blueberries in particular.
“Oh my god, Harper,” I moaned, licking every last sticky drop from my lips as she took my now-empty hand and placed a plain glass jar of dark honey into it.
“From the first batch.”
“It’s delicious. So delicious.” And all I could think about was mixing this into a nice big bowl of yogurt with some fresh blueberries later.
At least half of the nights over the last two weeks, my dinner consisted of a bowl of yogurt with fresh berries and granola. The other half of the nights, Max managed some excuse to be responsible for feeding me, whether it was the deliveries ran late, or “there’s this great Italian place,” or he was feeling really hungry and asked if I would mind just getting dinner on our way back to the warehouse…
They were obvious excuses to buy me dinner, but not obvious enough where I couldn’t pretend to go along with them. It was just easier. Max just made things easier. And as much as I didn’t want to take advantage of it or rely on him, the reprieve was too tempting—and temporary—I reminded myself every time I gave in.
“Well, I’m glad you like it because I made it just for you.”
“What? Me?” If I hadn’t already completely devoured the scone, I would’ve choked. “Why?” I gave a small laugh.
“Because you made me peony perfume that I’m obsessed with,” she said, having spent the first five minutes gushing about how much she loved the scent that had finally matured from those first few mason jars I’d steeped my wedding bouquet in.
The bell chimed, and warmth fizzled along my spine.Speak of the devil.
“Why am I not surprised?” Max drawled, and I only partly angled my head so he fit into my periphery.
