“Yeah, maybe we should go over here,” Seymour mumbled from the side of his mouth.
“Go where?” Sariel asked quietly.
“Anywhere away from the fuckin’ fire.”
“I agree,” Day hissed. “I do not wish to see either of you set on fire?—”
“Oh! Hello!” the brunette greeted them. “You must be lost.”
“I suppose you could say that, ma’am.” Seymour tipped his head politely and tried to ignore the man’s screaming. “We’re, uh, tryin’ to find our way back to the human world. Any help would be mighty appreciated.”
“Aw, such manners!” the brunette cooed.
“It is so refreshing to meet a young man with manners.” The redhead smiled sweetly.
“Very polite.”
“Yes, so polite.” The redhead shook her head. “But you’ll need help to get back. Maybe one of the princes would assist you.”
“Yes,” the brunette agreed. “One of the princes.”
Seymour forced a smile. “You know, you two kinda talk like them princes.”
“Oh?” the redhead asked, her brow raised.
“Yes, ma’am.” Seymour really hoped he hadn’t accidentally said something insulting. He did not want to be set on fire. He really, really did not.
“You’ll have to be more specific.” The redhead laughed. “This is Faerie, you know. You do know you’re in Faerie, don’t you?”
“Yes, ma’am. I sure do.”
“There are many princes here. Dozens of them. Is there a particular set you were thinking of?”
“Bridget will know them!” the brunette said with a proud smile. “She knows all the royal families! She makes all of their clothing. King Zolrya himself said she was a remarkable talent.”
“Oh, come now, Abby!” Bridget blushed. “They don’t want to hear about all that now.” She swatted playfully at Abby and gave Seymour a wink. “If I start talking, you’re likely to end up here forever!”
“Wow!” Seymour croaked out a laugh. “As much as I would love to, uh, stick ’round here and chat about clothing and all that, I really need to get my friends here some help. Is there any chance you know Prince Absolis and Prince Vilanos?”
“Two of my favorite clients!” Bridget grinned wide. “Here, I will fetch them for you! I’m sure they’ll be able to set things right.”
As she searched around the table for something, the burning man finally collapsed and went silent. The dirt he’d been digging up flowed back into the hole in a massive wave, burying him in seconds.
Yeah, not freaky at all.
The man appeared standing at the foot of the hole, shovel in hand, but he was not currently on fire. He looked around, his eyes wide with terror, and he stared at Seymour. “Help me,” he whispered urgently. “Please. Please, please, please?—”
“Shush you,” Bridget warned, still fumbling between plates. “Ah! Here we go!” She held a silver bell and gave it a quick ring. “There. They should be along shortly.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” Seymour kept his smile in place and tried not to make eye contact with the man. “Should, uh… Is he all right? Does he need something? ’Cause he keeps starin’ at me.”
“Oh? Him?” Abby laughed. “Trust me. He’s getting exactly what he deserves.”
“I didn’t know!” the man screamed. “I thought she’d been taken! I thought she was a changeling! I tried to?—”
“You tortured me, burned me, and left me in a shallow grave. You can fuck right off.” Bridget rolled her eyes and flicked her fingers.
The man caught fire again and sobbed, shakily lifting the shovel to once again dig at the earth in front of him while Abby and Bridget laughed.
