The man who had been next snapped, “Hey! Back of the line, asshole.”
Seymour cringed.
“Excuse me?” Zolrya grinned. “What did you just call me?”
“An asshole! A fuckin’ freaky looking one too!” the man barked. “Why don’t you go back home to RuPaul, huh?”
There was a distinct buzz of static, and the lights inside the restaurant flickered.
“Mr. Wells. Mr. Daniel Wells of Castleberry Court, apartment twelve,” Talos purred, his voice low and dangerous. “Apologize to my lover immediately or everyone in this establishment is going to see the charming little photograph you took of your penis in the bathroom twenty-six minutes ago. The one you sent to Maria Vasquez, the wife of your employer, Donald Callier of Horizon Industries.”
“What?” The man turned bright red, and he screamed, “H-how do you—how? Huh? How do you know all that? Did her husband hire you? Who the fuck are you?”
“I’m the man who is about todestroy your lifeif you don’t apologize to my sweet darling.”
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” The man dropped to his knees in front of Zolrya. “Please, please! I’ll do fuckinganything.” He grabbed Zolrya’s arm. “Please! Please, I need this job so fuckin’ bad!”
Zolrya had been looking at the menu, apparently not interested in the man’s obvious distress, and he made a face. “Ew, don’t touch me. You touched your pathetic mortal penis with those hands.” He suddenly grinned. “Although… I must confess how Iloatheadulterers and their vile little affair partners.” He wiggled his nose and then smiled sweetly. “There.”
“What the...?” The man grabbed at his groin, patting around frantically. “No… It can’t… You…!No!” He let out an awful wail and then bolted to his feet, racing out of the restaurant.
“Oh, come on!” Zolrya groaned. “I was going to put it back. Eventually.Tsk.” He smiled at the other people in line. “Now! Does anyone else mind if I go ahead and place my order?”
Everyone shook their heads, and there was a very enthusiastic chorus ofnos.
Talos chuckled low. “That’s better. Go ahead and get your yummy food, baby.”
“Thank you, darling.” Zolrya giggled. “Do you want me to bring you back anything? Some honey mustard? Or sweet and sour sauce? Whatever you think pairs well with ass.”
Talos laughed again. “Whatever you want, baby.”
“Love you!” Zolrya cooed.
“Love you too.”
“Jesus fuck.” Seymour scrubbed his hands over his face. “Can we leave? Like, right now?”
Day grimaced. “Leaving sounds very good.”
“But he wants to see us,” Sariel said quietly. “I do not think it would be wise to depart at this moment.”
“Quite right,” Talos said, his voice now coming from Seymour’s phone in his pocket.
Seymour jumped. “Shit.”
“I think it is in your best interest to keep my beloved very happy while he visits your realm,” Talos went on. “He feltinspired after your little meeting to enjoy some mortal cuisine, and he’s always had a weakness for fast food.”
“Does he… uh… stay long?” Seymour asked slowly, remembering all too well how pretty much everyone ever said the king visiting was a very, very bad idea.
“Once he’s eaten at all his favorite restaurants, he will return home. So. Keep him happy.”
“What do you mean? I’m still tryin’ to find your damn brain and this music stuff has gotten real bad?—”
“Click.”
“How the hell are you gonna sayclickinstead of just hanging up?” Seymour groaned. “C’mon!” He pulled out his phone to make sure Talos was actually gone, but he wasn’t sure if that even mattered or not.
Day had finished off the last of her food, and she appeared ready to fall asleep in Sariel’s lap. She lazily swatted at the air, saying, “I’ll eat ’em both.”
