Loudly.
Sariel, who had not turned away yet, had the funniest look on his face. It was somewhere between disgust and intense intrigue. Like watching someone compete in a hot dog eating contest?—
“Yes! My love!” Zolrya yowled. “Get it in there! Fuck! Suck it all down!”
His cries were accompanied by a distinct wet slurping sound.
Okay, the hot dog thing was probably not the best analogy because now Seymour couldn’t stop picturing green hot dogs and…
Ugh.
“I’m going back in the Inro,” Day fussed. “This is way too gross.”
“Take me with you?” Seymour said, only half joking.
“Do you really want to?”
“No, it’s all right, kitty girl.” Seymour sighed and gave her ear a scratch. “Go on. I’ll holler if we need ya’.”
Day nuzzled Seymour’s cheek and then vanished.
Seymour grabbed Sariel’s shoulders and turned him away from whatever the hell Zolrya and Talos were doing, askingcurtly, “Hey. Can we finish this fuckin’ chat anywhere but here? Please?”
Vilanos and Absolis both pouted, but the weird world and the ongoing, presumably very freaky sex faded away in an instant.
They were back in Sariel’s kitchen, and Seymour sighed in relief. He sagged against the counter. “There. Yay. Everyone has their damn clothes on and no one is makin’ anybody into flowers.”
“You are safe.” Sariel hugged Seymour from behind.
Seymour clasped Sariel’s arm, glancing back at him. “You okay?”
“I have seen things I cannot unsee, but I am all right.”
“I don’t even wanna know, do I?”
“Probably not.”
“Ahem.” Absolis and Vilanos cleared their throats noisily. They were standing at the entrance of the kitchen, changed now into coordinating black glittering gowns with elaborate silver embroidery. Their jewelry, makeup, and even the fresh blossoms in their hair were silver too.
Seymour might have thought the flowers were pretty before…
But knowing what he knew now about faeries and flowers killed that idea immediately.
“Oh. Goody fuckin’ gumdrops.” Seymour feigned a smile. “You guys didn’t wanna stick around and watch the robot sex?”
“What does your little text say?” Absolis demanded.
“Yes, tell us.” Vilanos scowled. “What does it say?”
“Fuck if I know.” Seymour scowled right back. “The hell do you care?”
“Oh, we care a lot.” Absolis huffed, flicking his fingers angrily. “We have disappointed our king and his consort.”
Vilanos mirrored Absolis’s gesture. “This will not do.”
“Can’t let the old man down, huh?” Seymour rolled his eyes, but he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. “Right. ’Cause you’ve both been so very fuckin’ helpful.”
“We could be less helpful,” Absolis purred sweetly.
