Shit.
He was pretty sure he was going to regret this, but he cleared his throat to ask, “So, can we go now?”
“No,” Absolis and Vilanos replied in unison. “Not yet.”
“Is this about what’s missin’?” Seymour demanded. “Come on. That’s a load of shit. I don’t even know what it is! I just did what you told me to!”
Talos pulled away from Zolrya, sounding oddly breathless as he said, “It is the core of my divine construction. The source of my power, crafted eons ago by the hands of a god who ruled over fire and iron, a deity whose talents have never been seen again by this pathetic world.”
“And that is… what now?”
“His brain, you silly man!” Zolrya caressed the metal man’s chest. “His big, beautiful brain!” His hand went lower, and he licked the side of Talos’s screen. “Come along, my love. I hate when you’re distracted. It’s so boring.”
“Apologies, my love,” Talos cooed. “I’ll be right there.”
“Have the little mortal take care of this for us—” Zolrya sighed, drawing Talos back in for another kiss. “—and takemeto bed.”
“Of course,” Talos replied with a sweet smile. His metal body scooped Zolrya up into his arms, carrying him toward the bed under the big tree. His digital gaze on the screen shifted over to Seymour. “You. Find my brain and return it to me. Now, I really must be going, but?—”
“Hold up! Sir! Mr. Talos, sir!” Seymour coughed. “I get that I didn’t one hundred percent return your head in all of its entirety? But I did what Abso-lottle and Villain over there asked for. My deal was with them. Well, technically, it was with Mr. Heiss and?—”
Talos laughed.
And helaughed.
His screen dipped forward until he was right in Seymour’s face. “Oh, I’m sorry. Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear.”
“No, sir. I’m pretty clear on how this is no longer my problem,” Seymour said sourly, resisting the urge to punch the screen. “You got Flopsy and Mopsy standin’ right there, ready to serve you or whatever. Why don’t you get them to do it, huh?”
“You mean the two arrogant morons who didn’t bother to check my head before wasting my precious time by presenting me with an empty shell?” Talos drawled.
Absolis and Vilanos were obviously seething from the insult but said nothing even when Talos sneered their way. They both flashed perfectly fake smiles and remained silent.
Talos snorted. “This is not a request. It is an order from our king, a king whose happiness I am very invested in.”
“Sir, please.” Seymour took a deep breath and tried not to scream. “I’m done, okay? I am done with all of this crazy shit. I get you like to keep your man happy, mad respect, but?—”
“Perhaps you would like me to visit you at your apartment on Parkside Village Drive?”
Seymour’s blood ran cold. “What?”
“Your downstairs neighbor, Tiffany Ward, likes using your Netflix password. Her two children have been watchingKPop Demon Hunterson repeat. Isn’t that charming? It would be a shame if there was a banking error that eliminated her already pitiful savings and she lost her home. Or maybe I should say hello to your doctor, James Turner? Could be fun to let him know how much you enjoy searching for pornography with a medical kink flavor. Send him some of those tasty videos from your phone number and ask him to reenact them with you?
“I would be sure to include a fine selection of those classydick picsyou seem to enjoy storing on your phone. Don’t worry. I’d only send the ones where you can see your face. Don’t want him thinking it’s someone else! While I’m at it, I’ll be sure to share them with every single contact in your phone, including your boss, Phillip Mitchell, along with a detailed text of what you’d like to do to him sexually. Oh, but I suppose that’s all a bit juvenile, isn’t it? Perhaps I will have a warrant for your arrest issued instead. The fine officers of Somerstown would be very interested in taking down a disgusting deviant like yourself.”
“What…?” Seymour scoffed. “A deviant? But I’m… I’m not?—”
“Yet.”
Seymour froze.
“You are whatever I want you to be. Right now, you are a law-abiding citizen who has recently inherited a very large sum of money. With a thought, I can turn you into a sick predatorycriminal who has absolutely nothing and destroy everyone whose only offense has been to exist in your immediate vicinity. Your neighbors, your friends, your third grade teacher, Mrs. Schultz? All of them. I believe it’s fair to say… Hmm. What is that delightful expression you mortals like to use?” Talos pretended to think and then grinned savagely. “Right. You’re mybitch.”
Seymour’s chest heaved, and he bit his tongue to keep himself from screaming.
“Do we understand one another, Mr. Madison?”
“Yes,sir.”
