“There, that better?” the former blob asked sweetly.
“I, uh…” Ozzie was quite certain his eyes were popping out of his head.
The blob flashed that incredible smile and purred, “You take some deep breaths… nice and slow… and how about we go get high and chat, hmm?”
Ozzie’s heart fluttered wildly in his chest, his head swimming as he raced to catch up with whatever the fuck craziness was happening. He tried to take a few big breaths as he’d been instructed and felt his nerves standing down.
The blob had a soothing voice that calmed the raging anxiety clawing up Ozzie’s throat, and he nodded slowly, much calmer now.
Well, as calm as he could be with a giant pink slime who had turned into a really hot guy.
“Getting high is a good idea.” Ozzie reached for a towel to cover himself up.
“Right? I sure thought so.” The blob looked around curiously. “Huh. You got walls everywhere, right? That’s good.”
“Walls?” Ozzie stared. “You just showed up in my bathtub as a giant blob of Nickelodeon slime and you’re amazed at my walls?”
“Look, so, this is sort of a big ask, but I need a place to crash for a little while.” The blob grinned. “Just a few days! Maybe like, two, tops. Kinda trying to get away from someone and I need to lay low for a bit.”
“Wait. You crash into my bath like a fucking wrecking ball, which has got to be some form of breaking and entering, and you want to have a sleepover?” Ozzie couldn’t stop the nearly manic laughter that bubbled up from his lips.
“Hey! That's a Miley song!” the blob gushed. “I love that one!”
“They have Miley Cyrus on your planet?”
“Wait, how did you know I’m an alien?”
“I was just joking. I don’t know what you are!” Ozzie snorted. “You’re not really an alien. Right?”
The blob batted his lashes. “Has anyone told you how very, very handsome you are? And you seem to have all of your skin. That’s so nice!”
“Oh God, you’re a fucking alien.”
two
Technically, you’re an alien to me,” the blob pointed out. “I’m on an alien planet right now. Just saying.”
“Oh my God.”
“And seriously! All your skin!” The blob beamed. “That’s great.”
“I… I have all my skin. Yes. Yes, I do.” Ozzie chuckled and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t even fucking know what that means.”
“Just know you’re luckier than some of the poor bastards on Malchior Four, okay?”
“On the what now?”
“Aw!” The blob laughed and hugged Ozzie. “You’re cute when you’re confused.”
Ozzie’s cheeks heated up, his gaze dropping to the four different arms holding onto him. “Oh my God. I’m naked and you’re naked?—”
“Clothing! Oh, we’re supposed to have that?” The blob giggled. “I always forget which aliens wear it and which ones don’t. Such a shame to cover up all that pretty skin.”
“Are you… hitting on me?”
“Aw, would you like me to be hitting on you?” The blob batted his lashes. “Because trust me, baby, I can definitely make it much more, mmm…palpable.”
“I, um…” Ozzie felt the heat from his face melting down his neck and chest. “Clothes. Yes. Should have clothes.”
