Now or never.
“Really perfect. Like, the most perfect.” Ozzie breathed in deep. “Tuesday, every second with you has been, well, perfect.”
“Yeah?” Tuesday smiled sweetly and he hugged Ozzie close, his voice surprisingly soft as he said, “I’ve never been this happy, baby. I know it hasn’t been that long, heh, but yeah…Perfectsums it up pretty well.”
Okay, yes.
Tuesday was happy too.
Maybe this would be easier than Ozzie thought.
“I’m really glad to hear you say that, Tuesday.” Ozzie swallowed, pulling away so he could turn and face Tuesday. “I was really hoping I could, uh, convince you… to stay. You know, forever. Maybe. Yes. Forever.”
Tuesday’s eyes widened and glowed brighter than the lights blinking around them, and he gasped. “Forever?” He swallowed hard, searching Ozzie’s face. “You... You really want me to stay? With... you?”
Ozzie’s heart climbed up into his throat, his fingers trembled as they clung to Tuesday’s, and he inhaled slowly. Tuesday’s gleaming eyes were the prettiest shade of pink Ozzie had ever seen, radiant and bright, and he wanted to get lost in them forever.
“Yes,” he said. “Forever, babe.”
Tuesday laughed excitedly, his eyes damp. “Oh, Ozzie, I... I wanna tell you something. I know it’s crazy and way too fast, but I?—”
A flash of white light came from the sky, and there was a strange rumbling that shook the ground beneath their feet. The little family of reindeer fell right over, and the inflatable snow globe lost its moorings, blowing across the yard as gusts of winds blew through the backyard from above.
Only Santa remained, his glassy gaze unfazed.
Ozzie stumbled and grabbed Tuesday, steadying him as the patio cracked and the entire house trembled behind. He could hear glass shattering along with the screams of his family as the home quaked, and he froze, gasping, “What the fuck is that?”
“Oh no.” Tuesday trembled. “No, no, no.”
A giant centipede-snake creature with a long body and way too many buff, bulging arms shimmered into view, standing only a few feet away from where the snow globe had just been. It was a brilliant shade of red, and scaled, and it was wearing strangesectional black armor like something out ofDragon Ball Z, and its long, twisted face was pulled back in an angry sneer.
Ozzie stared, terror gripping him tight and keeping him held frozen in place. “What the fuck? Who the fuck are?—”
One look at Tuesday’s horrified expression told him all he needed to know.
This was Greg.
His ex.
“Aw, there you are, gorgeous,” Greg purred in a deep voice, the sneer morphing into a sinisterly sweet smile. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“Hi, Greg,” Tuesday spat, herding Ozzie behind him. “Hey, look! You found me. You can fuck off now.”
“Shit.” Ozzie stumbled a bit. “That’s him. That’s Old Greg?”
“Yes, this is myshittyex, Greg.”
Greg held out several hands. “Let’s go, gorgeous. I think you’ve had enough fun, but it’s time to go home?—”
“No!” Tuesday snarled, his legs stretching so he could stand tall enough to stare Greg down. “I’m not going anywhere with you! You fucking psycho! How did you even find me, huh?”
Greg rolled his eyes and thrust a hand forward, stabbing it into Tuesday’s chest.
Ozzie didn’t even recognize the scream that ripped from his own throat as he watched Greg punchthroughTuesday’s torso and out the other side.
“You!” Tuesday grunted as Greg’s hand twisted inside of him, his body convulsing and twitching as he fought to stay in his human form. “You... ass... fuck... face!”
With about as much efficiency as an ant, Ozzie threw himself at Greg, punching and grabbing as many of his stupidly muscular arms as he could. “Get the fuck away from him, you ugly cockroach motherfucker!”
