Ozzie grabbed the burger and took a big bite. He couldn’t hold back a moan of pure delight as the taste exploded on his tongue. “Holy fuck, Tuesday. This is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”
“Really? What about last night, baby?” Tuesday winked.
Ozzie inhaled a bite of the flawless burger, covering his mouth as he coughed. “Okay,” he gasped when he could get enough air to speak again. “Maybe second best.”
“That’s what I thought.” Tuesday smirked smugly.
“You’re hired.” Ozzie chuckled and ate some more of his burger. A new email popped up in his inbox, and he set the burger down to check it. Every client’s problem was always life or death, or so it seemed, so answering promptly was important.
“Oh yeah?” Tuesday grinned. “Hired, huh?”
“Yup.” Ozzie nodded, typing out instructions for the client to turn on their printer. “You can cook all my meals forever.”
“All right. But you're gonna have to pay me in cookies and sex.”
“Cookies and sex?” Ozzie snorted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Guess I better get my grandma on the phone because I can’t bake for shit.”
“Whatever it takes.” Tuesday scooted closer, resting his chin on Ozzie’s shoulder and peeking at the computer. “Whatcha doin’?”
“Working. Gotta reply to emails and stuff when people need help. In just a second, I’ll move to my office and get ready to take phone calls.”
“Oh! You have to talk to them too?”
“Sometimes.” Ozzie shrugged. “Walk them through fixing their printer or their monitor or whatever it is. They tend to be, uh, older? And they love to chat and complain and yeah, I’m glad I get paid by the hour and not the call.” He glanced at the time. “Which I need to go get ready for.”
“Ready?”
“Yeah.” Ozzie stood and grabbed his laptop. “I have an office set up in my other bedroom. I’ll, uh, I’ll be in there. But hey, I can clock out for lunch.”
Tuesday blinked. “What about me?”
“What about you?”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Uh.” Ozzie shrugged, heading to his office down the hall. “Watch TV? Take a nap?”
Tuesday followed right behind him. “That sounds boring. Maybe I could help with your tech stuff!”
“Don’t think there’s much of a need for inter-dimensional type stuff on Earth.” Ozzie opened the door of his office with a snort.
The room was small, crowded with a desk and numerous shelves packed to the brim with various collectibles from some of Ozzie’s favorite fandoms. There were figures fromStar Trek, replica weapons fromFirefly, and dozens of variousLord of the Ringsitems. He had several photographs scattered throughout, either of family or signed autographs from celebrities he’d ordered online.
“Whoa.” Tuesday stared in awe. “What’s all this?”
“Not for you to touch,” Ozzie warned as he set the laptop down at his desk and sat. “It’s my stuff, okay? My very personal, sometimes very expensive, stuff.”
“But they’re toys.”
“Expensivetoys.”
“So, I can’t play with ’em?”
“No.” Ozzie put his headset on. “Now shoo. I gotta work!”
Tuesday slowly gravitated toward one of the shelves, but he put all of his hands behind his back as if to prove he wasn’t going to touch anything. “Wow.”
Ozzie turned around, frowning. “Hey!”
