Page 9 of By Rude Strength


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“No. I… I just…”

“Decided to open your big mouth and bemean?”

LA rubbed his forehead. “You were just supposed to be a pretty bottle to stick on my damn nightstand.”

“This is your lucky day then!” Cass beamed. “Because now you have a pretty imp to help you instead!”

“Help me what?”

“Find your strength, you silly man.” Cass playfully batted at LA’s shoulder.

“The strength potion.” LA frowned deeply. “The guy at the shop said it was a strength potion.”

“Yes! That’s me.” Cass shrugged his big shoulders. “Kind of. Mostly. You can’t really drink me. That would be weird. Especially with all this fur? Not very pleasant.”

“So, you just…” LA scoffed. “What? Hang out in a bottle until it’s time to come out? Like a genie?”

“Ha, no! God, that would be horrible.” Cass grimaced. “Can you imagine being trapped inside a little tiny bottle like that for eternity? Ugh, no, just terrible. And no leg room!”

“Okay, so you weren’t actuallyinsidethe bottle?” LA was having trouble keeping this insanity straight and it made him long for the contents of another kind of bottle.

Which he’d left upstairs.

Shit.

“No. Think of the bottle as a doorway. I heard you knock, I answered, and ta-da!” Cass waved his paws and rainbow confetti shot out of thin air, raining over them. “Here I am!”

LA swatted at the confetti, at least grateful that it seemed to disappear when it touched something. “I didn’t knock.”

“Humans. Taking everything so literally.” Cass chuckled. “A knock could be a plea, a thought, afeeling. It’s you reaching out into the void and screaming for help. Like,help me, help meee!”

“That did not happen.”

“Sure, Jan.” Cass laughed. “Either way, here I am!”

“How have you guys never been discovered?” LA demanded. “If you’re all running around helping everyone, why have I never heard of magical helping imps before?”

Cass wiggled his claws. “Because we’resneaky.”

“Right. So, uh…” LA gestured airily. “What now?”

“Usually, people like to tell me their name,” Cass said in a stage whisper. “Or I can just keep calling you Mr. Rudeness.”

“LA.”

“Eh?Elly?”

“No, LA. Like the city.”

“Mmm. No.” Cass shook his head. “Elly.”

“It’s the letters L and A. It’s my initials. Lawrence Alexander. But people call me LA, got it?”

“Right. Got it, Elly.”

LA scowled. “How do I make you go away?”

“Aw!” Cass pouted again and his big ears drooped. “I just got here!”