Page 81 of Pure Silence


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“All right.”

Day vanished up a flight of stairs, and Goldie could hear his footsteps creaking around overhead. He glanced around the living room a bit more, but there wasn’t much to see. Peeking around one corner revealed a cramped kitchen and another was an empty dining room. Once upon a time, the home must have been beautiful, though now it was merely a husk of its former self.

Goldie could relate.

The creaking of the staircase signaled Day’s return, and he was holding a large box.

“Here, you want me to get that?” Goldie offered.

“No. I want to carry it.” Day hugged the box tighter.

Goldie couldn’t tell what was in it, and he figured he’d see what it was later. “That’s everything you needed?”

“Yes.” Day sniffed. “Could… Could you please fix my headphones?”

“Of course.” Goldie smiled as he pulled the headphones back over Day’s ears. He adjusted them to make sure they were on straight, and he gave Day a thumbs-up.

Day smiled wearily, but he nodded. “Let’s go.”

Goldie held the back door open for Day so he could bring the box out, and he walked ahead of Day to open the trunk. Day set the box down very carefully, as if what was inside was fragile.

Eager to get out of the cold, Goldie got back behind the wheel and cranked the car, but he noticed Day was lingering in the yard.

Day was standing at the edge of the tall grass, gazing up at the house. He put his hands over the headphones, holding them to his ears and shaking his head. Goldie only got a glimpse of his face, and it looked like Day was on the verge of tears or screaming or both.

Goldie was about to get out of the car to make sure Day was all right, but then Day was coming back in a hurry.

Day practically jumped into the passenger seat, and he slammed the door with an angry huff. He’d knocked his headphones askew, and he was so frustrated that he tore them off and threw them onto the floorboard. His eyes were glassy, and he stared sullenly at the dashboard. “We can go now.”

Goldie reached over to pat Day’s shoulder, soothing, “Hey, it’s okay, baby.”

Day flinched.

“Hey. Talk to me, baby. What’s going on?”

“Memories,” Day said quietly.

“Bad ones?”

“Yeah.” Day sniffed, and he wiped at his eyes. “Living with Father was not… It was not easy. He could be very cruel. I never told him, but I hated that God spoke to him. I didn’t want him to be an agent of God’s wrath. I just wanted him to be… mydad.” His voice cracked on the last word, and he pressed his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking as he cried.

“Oh, baby.” Goldie wrapped his arms around Day, pulling him as close as he could. “Come here. Come here, baby. Just let it out. It’s okay.” He kissed Day’s hair. “You’re allowed to be pissed off. Agent of God or whatever it was he believed, your dad still had a duty as a parent to be your father too.”

Day sobbed, his fingers curling into Goldie’s coat. “It’s all I ever wanted. I just wanted a normal life. I just wanted to behappy.”

“And you will be,” Goldie soothed. “Your father isn’t here to make you do anything that you don’t want to do now. You don’t have to do what he wants, do you understand? He’s dead, baby. You’re not, and this is your life to live. Not his.”

Day sniffled, and he shook his head. “I… I don’t know. The mission—”

“It was his, right? And he put it on you. Did he ever ask you if you even wanted it?”

“N-no.”

“See, that’s bullshit.” Goldie kissed Day’s hair again, slowly rubbing his back. “You should be able to make your own choices, baby. You should be able to live your life the way you want to. I wish I had. I wish I could go back in time and change so fuckin’ much… but you can. You’re still young. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you to do whatyouwant to do with it.”

“And you’ll be with me?” Day asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes,” Goldie promised. “I’ll be with you for every step of the way, for however long you want me.”