“It wasn’t always like that.” Noah struggled to think of something else to say. “It wasn’t always… sex.”
“When did you decide that you had nothing else of value to offer?”
“I didn’t,” Noah argued. “That’s not it.”
“Yes, it is.” Alistair smiled. “You think you’re worthless. It’s why you think you have to sleep with every man you meet. You’re so desperate for affection, and you don’t know any other way to get it except to offer your body up for pleasure.”
“No… I just…” Noah didn’t know what to do. He clenched and unclenched his hands. He wanted to tell Alistair he was wrong, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it because they both knew it would be a lie.
“I think, however, there’s more to you to be had than mere carnal enjoyment. When I told you I believed you had potential, I meant it. If you’re willing to listen and be my boy, then Daddy can take care of you.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“My uncle.” Noah swallowed. “What about my uncle?”
“What about him?” Alistair lazily traced a circle around Noah’s navel.
“You’re still gonna kill him?”
“I am fairly certain he’s guilty.”
“Just ‘fairly’?” Noah didn’t know if it was foolish to keep trying, but maybe there was hope. “So you agree there’s a chance he’s not?”
Alistair’s brow furrowed.
“Please.” Noah was ready to beg. “Take him alive, okay? Your guys are real badass, right? You don’t have to kill him. You could—”
“Go on and kneel, dear Noah.”
“Please, sir.” Noah dropped down as before, pushing himself between Alistair’s parted thighs. He reached for Alistair’s belt. “I’ll do whatever you want. Be your good boy, call you Daddy, whatever—”
“Not yet.” Alistair pulled Noah’s hair. “Daddy didn’t tell you to do that, did he?”
“No, sir.” Noah cringed. “I’m sorry, I thought—”
“You don’t need to think. All you have to do is listen.” Alistair smoothed down Noah’s hair where he’d yanked it. “We will discuss your uncle later. I can promise you that the orders I’ve given are to bring him back here alive. Is that satisfactory?”
“Yes, sir. Thank you.”
“Now. Moving on. We’re not even done going over the rules yet.”
“Okay, sir.”
“As I said, you will obey my every command without question. However, my intention is not to cause you any lasting harm. Yes, I may hurt you, but I do not want to damage you.” Alistair touched Noah’s cheek. “This is why we will have a safe word.”
“Okay? But I’m gonna do whatever you want?” Noah frowned. “That’s the point, isn’t it?”
“Ah, yes, but it’s more than that. Much more. Think of it this way. I can’t keep playing with you if I break you.”
“Fine. Piccadilly. Done.” Noah was starting to feel frantic. He was afraid he was going to freak out and change his mind if they didn’t get going soon. “Now can we just get to it, sir? Let me be good, okay? I need it. I need to hear that shit, like, right now.”
“Patience.” Alistair chuckled. “You’re being good, but you must be patient.”
“I don’t think I can be. If I don’t do this, I’m gonna freak out. This is crazy.” Noah shook his head, and the cloud of lust was lifting and leaving him only with thoughts of how insane this was. Bargaining to spare his uncle’s life and wanting to fuck the guy he was doing the bargaining with was nuts.
This was a mistake.
