No matter what.
They were sitting in the living room, and Noah was watching television while Alistair read. Noah enjoyed showing Alistair the joys of mindless reality television, and they always got a good laugh from it. Alistair would read Noah parts of the latest book he’d bought, usually a historical fiction that would turn into an hours-long discussion about the true events that had inspired it.
He loved their quiet evenings together, he truly did. But right now he was feeling antsy, wound up, and bored.
And he really wanted a cheeseburger.
“I want a cheeseburger.”
“Frida is not working today.”
“I know. It’s her spa day.” Noah had finally made good on his promise to do something nice for her because he didn’t feel like being a better person was enough. He had given her an exclusive membership to a local spa, and he’d even paid for it out of his own pocket.
“I have an excellent recipe for a ginger pork burger with pickled cucumbers and a black bean mayo,” Alistair said. “We could make that, if you’d like.”
“No, I want acheeseburger,” Noah insisted. “From a cow.”
“Beef is fine, if you’d prefer that.” Alistair wrinkled his nose slightly. “But the ginger pork is quite excellent—”
“No!” Noah snapped.
Alistair tensed, and he lowered the tablet he’d been reading from. “No?”
“Yeah, no.” Noah shook his head. “I want a fatty, disgustingburgerthat comes in a paper bag. I want so much grease that I can see through the wrapper.”
“It’s already close to dinner time, and I was not planning to go out.”
“You know you can literally order fast food with your phone, right?”
“We have food here. I was thinking we would cook tonight. I wanted to teach you how to—”
“Come on!” Noah whined. “I start culinary school in like amonth. I’ll be learning plenty! All I want is a giant, greasy cheeseburger with greasy fries in my belly. Right now.”
“Noah?”
“I have an app on my phone. I can totally order it without even getting off the—”
“Noah.” Alistair uncrossed his legs, and he leaned forward in his chair. “If I didn’t know any better, I might suspect you’re trying to get a rise out of me.”
“Yeah?” Noah cocked his head. “Maybe I just really want a cheeseburger. Did you ever fuckin’ think of that?”
“Oh, now I’m certain.”
“Whatever gave you that fuckin’ idea?”
“That delightful potty mouth making a return was a big clue.”
Noah could feel the air growing tense, and he sat up straighter. “Maybe, just maybe, I want a damn fast-food cheeseburger, and you’re being an asshole.”
“You could have asked me nicely.”
“I tried!” Noah stood in a huff.
“You did not once say please.”
“Fuckin’please?”
“Kneel.”
