Alistair quickly moved the box onto the table and wrapped his arms around Noah. “Take a deep breath. Come on.”
Noah tried, but he was only able to gasp.
“Breathe for me, Noah. Come on, sweet boy.”
Noah’s chest was getting tight, and his heart had become a painful, jagged stone. It hurt to breathe, but he tried. He wanted to be a good boy and do what Alistair asked of him, and he whimpered.
Petting Noah’s hair gently, Alistair said, “It’s all right. I’m right here, my boy. I’m here.”
“Yeah, but they’re not.” Noah closed his eyes, spilling tears down his face. “They’re gone. Fuck, they’re gone, and…” He wiped his cheeks. “I don’t even know why I’m crying.”
“Because you’re in pain, and you’ve been through so much.”
Noah held onto Alistair, close to sobbing. He held it back for as long as he could until it burst, and he cried into Alistair’s chest. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d cried like this, and now he couldn’t seem to stop.
Alistair kept petting his hair and rocking him, murmuring softly and making reassuring sounds. He let Noah go on for as long as he wanted, and he didn’t let go until Noah finally managed to calm down.
“I’m sorry.” Noah pulled away and tried to clean up, finding a handkerchief being pressed against his cheeks. “Ugh, I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
“It’s all right.” Alistair dabbed away Noah’s tears, even his snot, with nothing but a kind smile. “I’m sure it was quite upsetting to see those articles. I imagine this might be the first time in a very long time that you have.”
“Yeah, no. Some of these I had never even seen before.” Noah rubbed his eyes. “And I… wow. Why did Landon have them all? I didn’t think we went to middle school together, but I guess we did.” He sighed. “I was such a bastard to him. He was like, invisible to me, and he’s probably my oldest friend.”
“Think of this box as a gift then. You may not have been able to appreciate his friendship while you had it, but you can now.”
“But it’s gone. It’s all gone. Like… just like my…” Noah had to stop himself from crying again.
“I know. But just like your parents, you can hold on to the memories. Sometimes memories are all we have, dear boy. They’re worth keeping.”
“Heh.” Noah smiled bitterly. “I barely remember my parents. They were always gone. Parties, nightclubs, vacations, all that crap. I think there might have been a Christmas or two they stuck around for, but… I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry.” Alistair dabbed Noah’s face one last time with his handkerchief, offering it out so he could blow his nose.
“It’s okay.” Noah cleaned up and awkwardly put the soiled handkerchief on the table next to the box. “Thank you. For letting me get all snotty and gross.”
“It’s no problem at all.”
“Whew. Damn. Well, that sucked.” Noah scowled at the box. “Maybe I should burn it.”
“Do you truly want to do that?”
“I know what you said about keeping memories is important. Hell, Landon said the same thing, actually. But these don’t feel like my memories.” Noah fidgeted. “They’re Landon’s. They’re his memories of a friendship I didn’t even know we were supposed to have.”
“Whatever you want to do is fine by me. I would only ask that you take some time and think about it before destroying something this precious so rashly.”
“Precious and creepy.”
“Perhaps a bit.”
“Did you keep anything from when you and Roderick were together?”
“No.” Alistair paused. “But I did name a club after him. A foolish and heartbroken dedication.”
“The one we went to. Kiss the Rod. Rod like Roderick?”
“Exactly so.”
Noah laughed. “Oh, my God. You’re so corny!”
