“Calm down.” Alistair released Noah’s hair, sliding his hand down to cradle his cheek. “Please. I know you are worried. I know you are afraid of what I might do, but we discussed this.”
“That was before! Before you actually found him! Before…”
Before there was a real chance that you might kill him.
Noah’s eyes were hot with tears, and his nausea was getting worse. The happy fantasy he had been living with Alistair was falling apart now, and he did not like the reality he was being confronted with. He had wanted to believe that Alistair might actually spare Uncle Patrick and they’d live some fucked-up happily ever after together, but being denied seeing Patrick did not do anything to reassure him.
He felt like a fool for trusting Alistair now, and this new betrayal mirrored the agony he’d experienced when he found out Brad was really Medina and had only apparently been using him for an alibi.
“Noah,” Alistair urged, reaching again for Noah’s hand.
Jerking away, Noah barked, “No! Don’t touch me!”
“You’re behaving like an absolute child.” Alistair grabbed Noah’s wrist and refused to let go. “I’m sorry if you chose to live in denial regarding certain aspects of our relationship and what that meant as far as Patrick was concerned. I never lied to you. I was always very clear about what would happen if I decided he was guilty.”
Noah opened his mouth to speak, but Alistair gently pressed a finger against Noah’s lips to silence him.
“If, I said.If.” Alistair shook his head. “I’ve made no such decision. I have much to consider before I do, including the information from Odie we received, thanks to your diligence.” He stroked Noah’s chin and offered him a strained smile. “You’ve trusted me with your body and your mind so far. Please. Trust me with this.”
Noah’s stomach rolled, and he didn’t know what to do. His immediate instinct was to scream, curse some more, and burn down this shitshow before he got hurt any worse than he already was.
But the way Alistair was looking at him—tense but concerned, and still so caring—was making him question if that was the right thing to do.
He’d never been good at relationships. They always fell apart and turned to shit in a matter of days. He knew now a lot of the failings were because of his terrible choice in partners, fueled by his immaturity and his lack of desire to put anything resembling work into a relationship.
But this, what he had with Alistair, he realized he wasn’t ready to lose quite yet.
“I can try,” Noah conceded finally.
“Good. Thank you.” Alistair sighed.
“As long as you make a promise.” Noah was not ready to completely give in, and he sat up straight and tall, as if peering down at Alistair would somehow be intimidating.
Alistair was unaffected, naturally, but still he asked, “And what is that?”
“If it does turn out that you gotta do the worst thing, you know, the murder thing? Then you let me say goodbye, please, and then all of you get the fuck out of my house.”
Alistair’s face became curiously blank again, but he kissed Noah’s hand. “You have my word, dear Noah. It shall be done.”
“Thank you.” Noah let Alistair keep a hold of his hand for the rest of the drive, but that was the only form of contact he allowed. He didn’t say anything else, and neither did Alistair.
Junior’s only contribution to the conversation was a small grunt.
Mind racing, Noah tried to plan for the worst and hope for the best.
This was Patrick’s opportunity to plead his case and prove his innocence. Noah had been trying like hell to help him, and he hoped he’d been able to plant enough doubt in Alistair’s mind to give Patrick a fighting chance. But still, Noah knew the evidence was insane, and Alistair’s employees, especially Junior, wanted revenge for their dead friend.
There was a car full of illegal drugs that would prevent Noah from doing anything should Alistair decide to take justice into his own hands, but he could at least kick them out. Then again, he realized, there was nothing stopping Alistair from staying there at the house if he really wanted to. Noah would be helpless. The only thing he had to go on was Alistair’s word.
Did he trust Alistair that much to do as he’d promised?
Noah honestly didn’t know.
But he wanted to.
And he was going to try.
When they arrived back at the house, Junior parked and silently opened the door to let them out. Noah got out on his own, choosing to decline Alistair’s assistance and head straight inside. He was hoping he’d run into Patrick, but only Erasmus was waiting for them.
