“None of your fuckin’ beeswax,” Junior replied. “Aren’t you s’pose to be takin’ a nap?”
“I’m suddenly feeling peckish.” Noah sprang up out of bed. He wasn’t going to figure anything out sitting here. “I’m going to the kitchen.”
“How about your little ass stays here and you tell us what you want?” Crybaby said.
“Because I don’t know what I want yet. I don’t know what we have. I gotta go stare in the fridge for ten minutes while I make up my mind.”
“Sounds like you’re not gonna eat then.”
“But I need to eat. I’m hungover, so I’m definitely dehydrated.”
“No.”
“Come on. This is serious. If I get too dehydrated, my pee is gonna come out all thick and snotty like mucus—”
“For fuck’s sake!” Crybaby groaned in disgust.
“You’re the fuckin’ nastiest guy we’ve ever kidnapped,” Junior griped. “Like, just the worst.”
Erasmus smirked. “Have fun, guys.” He slipped silently out of the room.
“Let’s go, nice gangster people.” Noah gestured to the door. “I’m hungry.”
“This isn’t some fuckin’ fast food have it your way bullshit,” Junior spat. He pushed Noah toward the bed. “I don’t care what comes out of your dick. You’re staying here.”
Noah had to fight the urge to push back. He held up his hands. “I want something to eat, okay? I’m starving. I only want some food. That’s it.”
“Fine.” Crybaby scowled. “Let’s fuckin’ go.”
“Crybaby!” Junior hissed. “Yous can’t side with him!”
“What?” Crybaby made a face. “In spite of all the nasty dick talk, I’m fuckin’ hungry too.”
“Undermining my fuckin’ authority in front of the fuckin’ collateral? That’s fucked up.”
Crybaby rolled her eyes and led the charge back downstairs. Junior brought up the rear with Noah between them, and he continued to complain.
“Just so’s you know, we’re only doin’ this ’cause Crybaby said so,” Junior said. “If it was up to me, you’d be drownin’ in your own nasty dick mucus, you fuckin’ hear me?”
“Wow,” Noah chirped. “You’d have to be real all up on my dick to drown in its mucus. Like, so close. Are you flirting with me? Or do you just have a thing for dick mucus?”
“Yous and your fuckin’ dick mucus can both fuck all the way off.”
“Jesus Christ!” Crybaby snapped. “Can we please never say the fuckin’ words ‘dick’ and ‘mucus’ together again in a fuckin’ sentence? Ever?”
“I’m sorry, okay? Fuck!”
Noah snickered under his breath.Wow, these guys are idiots.
The kitchen was clean, empty, and vast. There was a big island with an elevated bar with enough room for four chairs, grey marble countertops, and the fridge was hidden in the rustic cabinetry.
Junior stood by the doorway, watching over them with a heavy scowl as Crybaby went right to the fridge.
She pulled out butter, milk, eggs, and cheese. She also had little green onion things, and she started prepping her ingredients with obvious skill.
“Hey, whatever you’re making, make me one,” Noah said. “Looks like it’s gonna be good.”
“Fuck off.” Crybaby snorted, stirring the eggs and milk together in a bowl. “Make your own fuckin’ omelet.”
