Maybe I could get my teeth fixed. Plenty of adults wear braces. It’s really not that bad.
“I am going to touch myself in the shower while thinking about Cypress pulling my hair.”
God, that would feel so good. Let him bend me over the bed—no, the kitchen counter. Oh, even a stretcher at the funeral home. Just to have him inside me again.
Tom wasn’t sure if these affirmations were supposed to make him feel better or horny or what. His reflection looked back at him, uncertain, and he neglected the third iteration in favor of carrying on with his fantasy in the shower.
It was fast, tangling his fingers in his hair and wishing they were Cypress’s as he came after only a few strokes. He couldn’t stop picturing Cypress’s bright smile, his smooth skin, or that fat cock. Showered and spent, Tom quickly got out to get ready for work.
Before he got in his car, he made sure to text Cypress about his progress this morning:
Affirmations done. Orgasm achieved. :)
He felt pretty proud for sending such a cheeky little message, and he couldn’t stop smiling the whole way to the funeral home.
The wonderful night he’d had must have been written all over his face because Aaron was very quick to accuse him the second he walked into the office.
“You skank!” Aaron gasped. “You got laid?”
Tom was so glad Earl was on the phone and their other coworkers hadn’t arrived yet. He sat down at his desk, hissing frantically, “Will you shut up?”
“Oh, my God.” Aaron bounced in his chair. “You did. You’re fuckin’ glowing.”
“Will you please be quiet?” Tom resisted the urge to hide his head on his desk. Keeping his voice low, he confirmed, “Okay, so, maybe Cypress surprised me with dinner. And maybe, yes, there were things of an adult nature that went down, and that’s all I’m telling you.”
Aaron clapped his hand on Tom’s back. “Look, someone around here needs to get some. I’m officially going to live vicariously through you from now on.”
“But you’re straight? And you have a girlfriend? I don’t know which of those things makes this weirder.”
“Maybe the girlfriend. But—”
“Good morning, gentlemen,” Gerald interrupted, marching in with a sour expression.
“Definitely did not get laid,” Aaron whispered.
Tom almost choked on air.
Gerald loudly cleared his throat, hissing, “Hey, cut that shit out. We have a situation.”
Before Aaron or Tom could ask what was going on, a tall black man in a suit walked into the office with a grim smile. He was handsome, though a bit older than he initially appeared, judging by the gray in his mustache.
Aaron’s first thought was the man was a visiting funeral director, but then he saw the badge on the man’s hip.
“Good morning,” the man said. “My name is Fox Sanderson. I’m an agent with the SBI, the State Bureau of Investigation. I’d like to ask you all a few questions about some of the families you’ve all recently waited on.”
“What happened?” Tom blurted out.
“They’ve been burglarized,” Fox replied flatly. “There have been several families whose homes have been broken into while they were here at your funeral home. One or two, maybe a coincidence. But after the seventh one was reported, the city police contacted the SBI.”
Tom grimaced. He obviously knew nothing about any of this, but he felt guilty immediately. Fox was staring at him with such an intensity that Tom was ready to confess about the one time he cheated on his math test in the fifth grade.
“Aaron,” Gerald barked. “Call the Hun family at once. They left fifteen messages with the answering service last night. You’ll meet with Agent Sanderson when you’re done. Earl.” He turned to Earl at the dispatch desk. “Hey, Earl!”
Earl was still on the phone, frowning over at Gerald as he covered the receiver to snap, “What? I’m on hold with the police department.”
“The police are already here.”
“Where?” Earl squinted at Fox. “Well, that’s some mighty fast service, I hadn’t even gotten through yet. We didn’t need you to come in until eleven.”
