If everything goes okay, I might be able to get out of here by seven.
Well, that’s what time I was planning to pick you up.
Tom groaned loudly. Great, now Cypress was pissed at him. At least that’s how Tom was taking the text. It was so hard to infer emotion, and he was naturally assuming the worst.
I know, I’m sorry. I’ll be finished as soon as I can. I can probably make 7:30?
Don’t worry about it.
Tom’s heart dropped down into his shoes.
Don’t worry about it, as in it’s not a big deal? Or don’t worry about it, as in forget about it? What did that even mean?
He stood there, dumbly staring at his phone as he waited for a reply. He didn’t know how to ask for further clarification without sounding like a complete idiot, and time was ticking away.
And he still had an embalming to do.
Muttering a long string of curse words, he stalked to the walk-in cooler to find Mr. Lopez. As he rolled him back into the prep room, he started talking out loud, “I know this isn’t your fault, Mr. Lopez. It’s your crazy family’s fault for wanting to see you so soon. Shit, I’m sorry, I don’t mean that.”
He sighed as he pulled Mr. Lopez over onto the porcelain embalming table. He pushed the empty stretcher out into the hall and came back in to start gowning up. All the while, he found himself talking to Mr. Lopez.
“I’m sure your family is super nice, and they are very sad that you’re dead. That’s why they want to see you. It has nothing to do with Junior being an absolute assface and finding a way to screw me over. Nope, not at all.”
Undressing and positioning Mr. Lopez was easy since he was only wearing a hospital gown and a diaper. Tom gave him a paper towel for modesty’s sake and got the water going so he could shave him. Mr. Lopez only had a day’s worth of stubble so that was simple, too.
Tom mixed the fluids, gathered up his instruments, and began to embalm, mumbling to himself as he worked.
“And what was up with his text message? ‘Don’t worry about it’? Telling someone not to worry is going to make them worry, right?”
He made a small incision right above Mr. Lopez’s collarbone to locate his carotid artery and the jugular vein. The fluid would be injected into the artery, and blood would be drained from the vein at the same time.
A small L-shaped tube called a cannula would be attached to the embalming machine hose and inserted into the artery to administer the fluid. There were several options for drainage instruments, but Tom’s favorite was a unique drain tube called a vein dilator or a birdcage, so named for its wiry appearance.
As fluid was injected into the body, Tom would pull and twist the birdcage in and out of the vein to remove clots and ensure proper drainage. A blockage could lead to the body swelling, particularly the face, and though it could be fixed, it was a problem best avoided if possible.
Before starting the injection, Tom would set the features. Everything was first cleaned with cotton and disinfectant. Eyes were then closed using a small piece of plastic covered in small ridges called an eye cap. The cap kept the eye shut and helped maintain its shape as sinking was possible as dehydration set in. Particularly stubborn eyes would get a small dab of super glue or cotton if they were particularly sunken.
The method for closing the mouth was always a hot topic of debate between embalmers. Some liked to suture it closed, running a needle and string between certain points inside the mouth and the septum to tie it shut. Others, like Tom, used a device called a needle injector.
It resembled a small piercing gun, though the styles could vary, and instead of pushing an earring, it pushed a small barb with a piece of wire into the bone. One barb would be placed inside the gum line on top, and another would be set on the bottom. When that was done, the wires would be twisted together to keep the mouth closed.
Either way was acceptable, but Tom didn’t like suturing because he felt it made the deceased’s mouth look too drawn or puckered. What he could achieve with the needle injector looked much more natural to him, although the thunk sound it made as the gun drove the barb in was a bit unpleasant.
After snipping off the excess wire, Tom tucked the twist out of the way and carefully adjusted Mr. Lopez’s lips. A big grin would look silly, but he didn’t want a frown either. His goal was a peaceful smile, and he would spend more time setting the features than any other part of the embalming process.
There was only one chance to get this right, and he wanted it to be perfect.
When Tom was finally satisfied, he turned the machine on. As the fluid began to pump inside Mr. Lopez, he used soap to start massaging Mr. Lopez’s hands and arms, working down his legs to his feet. Tom massaged his face as well to make sure the embalming fluid would distribute evenly.
The most obvious sign that the body was taking fluid was a color change. The pale skin would start to turn a warm pink color, and areas that had wrinkled would start to fill out again, like the tips of Mr. Lopez’s fingers. Another sign was the distention of superficial vessels, like the veins on the backs of Mr. Lopez’s hands standing up.
The arterial injection and drainage went well, but it was already a quarter to seven by the time Tom was disconnecting and cleaning the embalming machine. He still had to do cavity treatment and bathe Mr. Lopez before he’d be done.
Arterial embalming treated most of the body, but it did not adequately penetrate hollow organs such as the lungs, heart, stomach, intestines, and bladder. Cavity treatment had to be performed to drain those organs of excess fluid and inject them with cavity fluid to preserve them.
Both steps were completed using a trocar, a large hollow instrument that looked like a giant hypodermic needle. After being connected to the hydro aspirator, a device that created intense suction using water pressure, Tom pushed the trocar into Mr. Lopez’s stomach beside his navel. From this one point, he could twist the trocar all around to pierce the necessary organs.
Even if he didn’t get a lot of fluid out, the trocar moving in and out made lots of holes in the organs and created pathways for the cavity fluid to go. Before he did that, he used a needle and thread to sew up the embalming incision by Mr. Lopez’s collarbone.
