“You were twelve?” Jimmy repeated.
“Mmm.”
Jimmy’s fingers traveled up to the large scar that rippled across Cold’s breast.
“Ah, decided I was going to be daring and get my nipple pierced when I was seventeen,” Cold snorted. “Boris tore it out. Got infected. Never healed right.”
Jimmy grimaced, moving his hand down to touch the other large scar that stretched across Cold’s side.
“First time Marco Luchesi told me to use my mouth on him and I refused,” Cold said, his eyes closing softly.
Jimmy froze, his insides clenching in sympathy.
“Ironic thing about the Luchesis,” Cold drawled bitterly. “They’re quick to bash someone for being gay, but they’re not real picky about where they put their dicks if they don’t think anyone will find out.”
“I’m so sorry, Rod,” Jimmy said quietly. Sorry didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem like a strong enough word to convey how much his heart hurt to know how Cold had suffered.
“I’m only sorry I didn’t refuse sooner.”
“How old...?”
“Sixteen was the last time,” Cold replied. “Ten was the first.”
“Christ,” Jimmy muttered, cuddling closer as if he could leach out all those bad memories with his embrace. Realization began to creep over him, and he exclaimed, “Holy crap. I’ve been such an asshole to you.”
“Hmm?”
“After everything you’ve been through, and I’ve been pushing you so hard,” Jimmy clarified, peering owlishly up at Cold. “You know. To be more... physical. I should have known. I mean, at the least I should have been more respectful. And the kissing, I had no right—”
“While I do appreciate that and hope this new knowledge allows you to make more respectful decisions in the future,” Cold said quickly, “I don’t need your pity. It was all a very long time ago.” His eyes flickered open to appraise Jimmy with a smug smile. “You hadn’t even been born yet.”
“Still, I’m sorry.” Jimmy rolled his eyes, scoffing, “And come on. You’re not that old.”
“How old do you think I am, Jimmy?” Cold asked, amused.
“Uh... Thirtyish something?”
“Flatterer,” Cold snorted. “I’m going to be forty-five on Friday.”
“Forty... wow,” Jimmy gasped, honestly quite surprised. He did some quick math, grinning. “You’re nineteen years older than me.”
“Mmhmm. Why are you smiling like that?”
“It’s just something about that damn number,” Jimmy laughed. “I swear, it’s been following me. Just seems fitting.”
“Oh?”
“Like the universe is telling me this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
Cold smiled at that, kissing Jimmy’s forehead. “Mmm, maybe it is.”
“Yeah?”
“Or maybe you’re just crazy.”
“That, too.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
