“My name is Obadiah Penuel Snod.”
“The fuck kind of name is that,” Lorenzo wondered out loud.
“It’s my name!” Snod growled.
“Did your parents hate you?”
“Call me Snod and don’t you dare speak ill of my parents—”
“Fine! Okay! Chill out, Sally Psycho!” Lorenzo waved his hands in surrender. “Listen,Snod. What do
you want from Frankie?”
“What do you mean?” Snod demanded, instantly suspicious.
Lorenzo presented Snod with a fresh drink, something fruity and tart, explaining, “I don’t know what’s
really going on with you guys, but here’s the deal. If you wanna be with Frankie, then fucking be with
him. If you’re just screwing him because you’re some kind of hot for coffins vampire groupie, then
you need to back off because Frankie deserves to be happy. He deserves something real, you feel
me?”
Snod slowly gulped down his drink, but said nothing. His thoughts were swimming anxiously,
teetering between considering his own happiness and the certain damnation that came with it. A life
with Frankie, something real, was not possible.
“He could have had that with Mark!” Lorenzo ranted on. “And even though you’re kind of scary, and
I’m very sure you could probably kick my ass, I swear I will find a way to fuck you up if you break
his heart. Frankie kind of gave me the impression that you weren’t gonna be sticking around long...
So, if you’re just passing through, you need to fucking chill with all of this über jelly grouchy bullshit
because it’s not fair to Frankie to act like you give a flying bucket of crap.”
“What?” Snod stared, the slang zooming right over his head.
Lorenzo groaned again, trying simply, “If you’re not going to be Frankie’s boyfriend, then don’t act
like a jealous boyfriend.”
When Mark’s hand reached up to touch Frankie’s face and playfully adjust his glasses, Snod couldn’t
stand it any longer. Boyfriend or not, the rage he felt boiling up inside of him was too much.
Snod began stalking toward them despite Lorenzo yelling after him, “Oh, don’t do it, bitch!”
He whirled around to glare at Lorenzo, snarling at the challenge. He stood up to his full height, biting
back, “Or what?”
Lorenzo was clearly shaken, but still stubbornly replied, “Death by robot in your future, dude. Death
