The knocking continued more insistently.
The vampire blinked away, suddenly dressed in scrubs and a white lab coat, fumbling with a fresh
pair of thick-rimmed glasses. “My job! Me and some of my co-workers take turns carpooling.”
Snod sat up, grunting as he struggled to adjust himself.
The vampire carpooled.
How quaint.
“Look, let me do the talking,” the vampire said quickly. “Don’t move and don’t touch anything. Oh,
God. Especially the books, please don’t touch the books.”
Snod’s head was reeling as he watched the vampire flit around at lightning speed.
“Okay, one minute!” the vampire called out to the door as he stumbled around. He finally answered it
with a breathy, “Hey! Sorry about that!”
A young man with long braids and dressed in similar scrubs came barging right in, complaining,
“Dude, you took forever, and I’ve got to piss! We’re gonna be...” he stared at Snod, “...late.”
The vampire grimaced.
The young man smiled, asking slyly, “Frankie. Who’s this?”
The vampire grinned sheepishly, saying, “Uh, Lorenzo, this... this is my new friend, Obadiah.”
Snod scowled.
Lorenzo was smiling even wider, teasing coyly, “Friend, huh?”
Snod wanted to stand but was afraid that it would be much too obvious what he and the vampire had
been up to. Shame began to creep over him at having been interrupted during such a sinful act, and he
glared heatedly at the stranger.
“Rough night, huh?” Lorenzo continued to joke, elbowing the vampire knowingly.
“Something like that.”
“I mean, he’s bloody... you’re... well, you know.” Lorenzo gestured with his hands, making little fangs
with his index fingers up by his mouth. “On the bitey side?”
“He knows?” Snod growled, jumping to his feet, his hesitation forgotten in his rage. “Is he one of your
foul concubines?”
“Mywhat?” the vampire spat, shaking his head. “No! He’s my friend!”
“Then how does he know what you are?” Snod demanded.
“Stand down, lover boy,” Lorenzo soothed, eyeing Snod’s bulging crotch with a loud snort. “Look, I
