“This choice might change my future, babe.” My voice softened. “Imagine if I won and got to study with a timewalker . . .”
“I understand the draw. And you deserve to study with the best, because I honestly think that, one day, you could be among them.” Alex released a long exhale. “But I don’t like the idea of you running around other academies alone.”
“There will be hundreds of magicals at those games, watching whatever torture the heads of each school cooks up. Three other champions from Spellcasters are going,andHeadmistress Wake. It’s not like I’ll be alone. On our missions, we’ll only have a partner, but you’re not arguing aboutthoseanymore.”
“I’mnotfine with the arrangements of our missions.” Alex clenched his fists at his sides. “I’ve been pissed as hell all day long that Headmistress Wake won’t give in to what we asked. Pissed that I can’t just tell her the whole truth because who knows how that could affect our futures. And mostly, I’m furious that I don’t know what’s happening to us!” He practically roared the last word. Pivoting to face the tree, Alex struck it five more times before his hands fell to his side.
I stepped back, watching his arms tremble. I’d expected anger, but this was a whole new level. He’d mentioned it before—the infamous Wardwell temper—but I’d never witnessed it for myself.
My Alex remained in control, even in the most dire of circumstances.
“Hey,” I whispered, “you have to calm down.”
Alex’s shoulders relaxed. A few seconds later, he turned to me, and I saw tears running down his face.
“How can you say that, Odie? How can I be calm? So much shit is going to happen this year, and I won’t be able to watch over you.”
“You don’t have to,” I said. “We’re a team. We look out for each other. This isn’t a one-sided thing. It never has been. Remember Ishtar?”
His lips quirked up a touch. “How could I forget my girlfriend coming to save me from the queen of Hell?” Alex shook his head. “But that isn’t the point, sweets. I know this isn’t one-sided. It’s just that . . . I can’t bear to lose you. I would break. Shatter. I—” His mouth snapped shut. He gulped and glanced down at his hands. Blood covered them, but he wiped it off on his pants before closing the distance between us to inches.
“Odie, I love you.”
My breath hitched.
Long ago, I’d suggested that I be the one to say it first. I was weird with relationships, and hadnevertold any guy I loved them. I hadn’t wanted to feel pressured to move too fast. Alex had agreed at the time, but apparently, the restriction had been too much.
And honestly, it was kind of silly. Even though he’d been a massive dick the day we’d met, I’d fallen in love with Alex Wardwell right then and there. So why hadn’t I been able to tell him in the months since then? Why had I felt the need to wait?
There was too much to lose.
A lump formed in my throat. There was still an enormous amount to lose. If Morgan and Merlin were right, Alex and I were destined to accomplish great things and have an unparalleled love.
I hadn’t wanted to risk starting something like that, only to have it all crash to the floor.
But just because I didn’t say the words didn’t mean that I didn’t feel them. For months, love had burned in my soul. It was time that I told him.
My hands dropped to clasp his, and I brought both pairs to my heart, which was thumping hard. They rested against my totem, and the object began to glow bright red. Alex’s totem, a ring with a moonstone to match the one in my necklace, lit up the exact same shade. Red light illuminated our faces, making them shine, otherworldly and beautiful in the dimming evening light. My lips tugged upward. The damn totems were so frustrating and mysterious, but they sure knew how to set the mood.
“Odie . . .?”
I realized that I’d been silent for too long. I’d left the poor guy hanging.
I pressed a finger to his lips. “I’m sealing this moment in my memory,” I whispered. Removing my finger, I looked deeply into his eyes, and the three tiny words that I’d fretted about for months didn’t seem so scary. They felt like the only truth in this world.
“I love you too, Alex.”
He didn’t even speak, only pulled me close so that our lips crashed together. We kissed hungrily as our hands roamed over each other’s body, all the tension of moments before forgotten as if it had never been.
As if the entire world was just us.
Chapter Six
Our free day before classes began flew by. As spymasters, my best friends and I were among the ten upperclassmen tasked with meeting initiates upon their arrival at the academy and showing them to the first-year tower. It tookhours, but I did my best to make sure that everyone felt welcomed. I didn’t want any of the new Culling students feeling like I had at the start of my first year.
It was an unfortunate tradition that the Spellcasters upperclassmen ignored the first-years until after February. The practice stemmed from the belief that it was dumb to waste time on people who may not be around if they didn’t pass the Samhain Trial or the Imbolc Challenge.
I thought the practice was idiotic, and that belief was validated as I met the Culling students.
