“Yep! Even Jeremy was excited to see you.”
Sergio’s heart soars, and then abruptly sinks. Fuck. He blew it from the start.
With wide, slightly watery eyes, he looks directly at Henry. “He was?”
“Yeah!” Henry says excitedly before his face falls, and he looks at Sergio seriously. “You should tell him you’re sorry.”
“Ugh …” Sergio groans. “I know, buddy. I’m working on it,” he says, trying to hold Henry tighter as he squirms in his arms.
“Jeremy!” Henry yells, prompting Sergio to put him down. He takes off running.
“Hungry?” Holden asks, clapping Sergio on the shoulder as he watches Henry close in on Jeremy.
Sergio nods his head. “Starving. I could go for a turkey burger.”
Holden’s face lights up. “This place has a great turkey burger!”
“Yeah, I know, you’ve told me,” Sergio says, hanging his head and walking towards the lodge with Holden oblivious and keeping stride next to him. He leads them all inside, where the hostess is waiting for their arrival.
From here, Sergio hits autopilot. It gets easier and easier every time he repeats this portion of the day. He knows precisely when to laugh, when to brush someone off, and most importantly, the exact moment when Jeremy will look at him with softness in his eyes right before he says, “It’s still a loss. I mean, if someone stole my skates, sure, I could buy a new pair, but they wouldn’t be the same. Even if they were seemingly identical. The tools of your craft always hold a piece of your soul when you use them as an extension of yourself.”
And, same as the first time he said it, Sergio feels a deep crack burrow its way through his heart. A crack that gets deeper and deeper every time they sit across from each other at this table for lunch.
A crack that he has to sit with and smile through every time Rose breaks the shared moment between him and Jeremy when she says, “Very true. But, damn it if it isn’t funny when it happens to Sergio.”
“Hahaha.” Sergio laughs as he’s supposed to and rolls his eyes. Once his eyes settle back into place, he lets his gaze linger on Jeremy, who is back to talking to Adrien as their food arrives.Thankful for the distraction, Sergio digs in and eats, and goes right back into autopilot mode.
But today he has an extra layer of distraction. Henry said Jeremy was looking forward to seeing him. He can recognize now that he fucked that up. From moment one. Looking back at his actions on the day that he and Adrien arrived, he can now understand why Jeremy seems to run hot and cold with him on this day. That the times that he approaches him and most importantly, thewaysthat he approaches him make a difference. That he is naturally on guard with Sergio from the moment Sergio opens his mouth to speak, never sure which Sergio he’s going to get.
“You need help with him, Jeremy?” Rose asks.
“No.” Jeremy shakes his head, smiling softly and directing Henry’s head to rest on his shoulder. “I got him.”
“Okay, well, we’ll see you later,” Rose says and waves goodbye. Prompting everyone else to do the same. They all take their turns, one by one bidding Jeremy adieu.
“See you in a bit,” Sergio says, then, losing himself in the moment, he kisses Jeremy on the cheek. He’s as frozen as the steps they are standing on as Jeremy flinches away. “Sorry.” Sergio winces. “Force of habit.”
“It’s not a habit I’m familiar with,” Jeremy says, a hint of accusation in his tone. “You must have me mistaken for one of your other guys.”
“Or girls,” Adrien adds, tugging Sergio away. “Come on, Casanova. You’ve humiliated yourself enough for one day.”
“Ten!” Holden shouts into the microphone on stage.
Sergio hangs his head and mumbles, “Thank fucking Christ this day is ending.”
“Nine!”
He swallows an entire glass of champagne in one gulp.
“Eight!”
“How could I be so fucking stupid?”
“Seven!”
“Will this hell ever be fucking over?”
“Six!”
