Page 21 of 300 New Year's Eves


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“Yesterday to you, maybe. But to me, it’s been six days.”

“So, you’re telling me that you’ve been here for six days and none of us has noticed?”

“Yes!” Sergio yells out.

“Wow. Sorry, mate. That sounds like a real kick in the dick.”

“Funny you should say that because your son wakes me up with a literal kick in the dick every morning.”

“That sucks.” Holden winces. “He’s got one hell of a kick on him. Have you tried locking the door before you go to bed?”

Sergio looks at him with a blank expression, eyes narrowed, and his lips set in a line.

“I’m only saying, it might help.” Holden shrugs, then rubs his arms some more before he blows into his hands.

“What part of ‘I wake up on the same day’ are you not getting? Even if I lock the door tonight, it won’t change the fact that I didn’t lock it last night. So no matter what, Henry is going to burst into my bedroom tomorrow morning and knee me in the nuts.”

“I thought you said he kicked you in the dick.”

“Are we really going to split hairs here?”

“You’re right. It’s the same thing.” Holden holds up his hands in defense, then stands a little taller. His eyes shine bright as if a light bulb was flicked on somewhere inside him with an idea. “Wait a minute.” He grabs Sergio’s shoulder and looks him directly in the eyes. “Are you fucking with me? Is this some kind of prank? Because if it is, it’s hilarious! You really got me on this one. I was actually concerned for a minute.”

Sergio’s blood boils. “This. Isn’t. A. Prank.”

“It kind of feels like a prank.”

“If anyone is being pranked, it’s me!”

Holden lets out a whistle. “I wish I’d have come up with this.”

Sergio jolts out from under Holden’s hold on his shoulders and rubs harshly at his face. “Trust me, I wish you had, too.”

“Okay, so let me try to get a handle on this. What you’re telling me is that today feels exactly like yesterday, even though you weren’t here yesterday?”

“No. I’m telling you that I have woken up here for six days in a row on a perpetual Mobius strip of New Year’s Eves, and I’m the only one who notices.”

“So, like a time loop?”

“I don’t know. I guess. How does something like that even work?”

Holden shrugs again. “Not sure, man. We don’t even have a hot tub.”

“A hot tub!” Sergio exclaims, not sure what Holden could possibly be talking about.

“Yeah, you know. Like that movie!Hot Tub Time Machine.”

“I don’t think this equates,” Sergio says and hangs his head in defeat as he realizes he’s talking to a moron.

“Oh!” Holden’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open into an oh shape to match his word. “Maybe this is more likeGroundhog Day?”

“Like with the rodent?”

“Yeah! I mean, sort of. Like how Bill Murray had to repeat the same day over and over again to learn how to be a better person or something.”

“Is that what that story was about?” Sergio asks, trying to remember the details.

“It definitely wasn’t about him continuing to be an asshole,” Holden points out, right as something catches Sergio’s eye over Holden’s shoulder. It’s Jeremy looking like he’s fresh from waking up, coming out of the barn with a steaming mug held in his sweatshirt sleeve-covered hands. He blows on it and thentakes a sip. “I mean, I’m no expert here. But if what you’re saying is true, I’m thinking you’ve been given the opportunity to change yourself.”