It’s my own fault. I should have taken charge earlier. I should have told him when I entered the draft not to select me. It was always his dream for me to play for the Chicago Broad Wings. I never cared who I played for. I only wanted to make it to the leagueand play because despite everything, including my father, I love hockey with my entire heart.
I let out a heavy breath. I guess what he said is true. I am weak. If I wasn’t, I would never be in this mess.
Maybe I should quit the Olympic team. The pressure is mounting, and I feel like I’m going to burst. There’s still time for them to replace me. I can take some time to think and most of all get away from Gavin. For as infuriating as my morning with my father was, he’s right about one thing. When the Olympics are over, we’ll all need to return to business as usual. I already don’t know if I can handle being on the other end of Gavin’s game again when we play them after this. It’s only been a week, but knowing he has my back has been the one thing that’s kept me going after each cheap shot I’ve taken from my less-than-thrilled-I’m-here teammates.
As if to emphasize my weakness, my eyes begin to blur and sting. “Goddamn it,” I mutter and smash my palms into my eyes. “I don’t need this right now.”
I hear the door open, and I turn to face Gavin as he walks through it. I bite my bottom lip and attempt to set my resolve. Determined to tell him what? That I get it. We’re a terrible idea. Or that I don’t care, and I can’t spend another minute in this hotel room not knowing what he feels like on top of me.
His face, and eyes soften when he sees me.
“Fuck it,” he says and strides over. He grabs my face between both of his hands and kisses me harder than a face plant right into the ice.
TEN
Gavin
Kissing Connor Kennedy is the best mistake of my life. He’s over the initial shock of me attacking his face and has moved on to giving me everything he’s got. Which is more than I thought I could ever have.
He lets me take control. Opens his mouth for me when my lips ask and allows me to swipe my tongue across his. He hums when I suck on his lower lip and lies down with ease when I push him into the mattress with the force of my size.
He wraps his arms around my neck, and he doesn’t resist me when I grab his right leg and hoist it over my waist so I can settle my hips and rock my hard cock against his. He moans into my mouth when I lay my body down on him. It’s exhilarating how easily he handles my full weight. Two hundred and thirty pounds of solid muscle and he pulls me down like it’s not enough.Like he needs more of me all over him.
I agree. It’s not enough. I need more of him. I need to feel his skin. I need to smell his scent. I need to see him naked, taste every inch of his body, and hear him gasp, moan, and call out my name as I take him apart.
I break the kiss and start with his neck by pressing my nose against the skin underneath his jaw, taking a hard sniff before I lick him. Intoxicating and clean. I can taste the freshness of his skin and smell the subtle spicy notes of his soap.
His scent reminds me that I didn’t shower after my workout this morning. Whereas here he is, laid out beautifully beneath me, clean and ready to be devoured, even if that wasn’t his intention for the day. And now he has my stinking ass smothering him as I’m driven forward by my no-longer-restrained need to be as close to him as possible.
I slide one hand between him and the bed and create space underneath him to pull his shirt up. “Off,” I say, pulling my lips away from him. “Now.”
Connor
There is no disobeying Gavin Marshal. Not when he speaks to me in that tone. It’s deep and urgent and I feel it vibrate down my spine.
As I take my shirt off, I catch my breath. He steals it again with the way his dark eyes deepen into pools of black as he takes in what he sees. His eyes rake over my body and he licks his lips like he’s about to eat for the first time in ages. With one hand, he grabs my face again to hold me steady as he kisses me. With his other he presses me back down onto my back and lays his weight on me. He doesn’t move his hips, but he keeps his hard length, which even through fabric is unmistakably large, pressing firmly against mine. I want him to move. I want to feel him grind against me. But something tells me that Gavin, despite the urgency of his kisses, is a man who likes to take his time.
So I let him. I let him kiss me over and over again and enjoy the way his stubble feels against my skin. I let him run his rough hand up and down the side of my body, then slip it underneath my back and hold me more firmly to him. I let him nibble my collarbone,and lick and sniff my neck. I let his scent wash all over me. It’s heady with sweat, testosterone, and need. So much need. I would bottle it and bathe in it if I could, forever smelling like Gavin Marshal. A not-so-subtle way to let everyone know that even if this is a one-off, for one day I was his. For one blissful moment in my buttoned-up life, I got to have him. Wild and free. I’ll let him break me.
He pauses his assault on my neck and lifts away enough to look down at me. There’s softness in his eyes as he brushes some of my hair away from my brow. “Where’d you go?” he asks.
I wasn’t aware I had gone anywhere. Unless he’s speaking of my creeping thoughts. “Nowhere,” I say and reach my hands between us to slide them underneath his sweatshirt. I need to feel his skin.
Gavin
I dip back down and kiss him. Slower this time to keep him grounded. It causes him to melt, and I can feel him get out of his head. I reward him by giving him a little thrust of my hips. He moans around my lips, so I do it again.
Lifting off of him once more, I pull my sweatshirt off then lay my torso flush against his, letting us be skin to skin while I kiss him some more. His body is warm, and his skin is a soft layer covering hard, lean muscles. I can’t get enough of the feeling of him against me.
This is a joy I never let myself have. Sex for me is almost always utilitarian. A means to an end. Maintenance on par with masturbation. But with Connor, as I knew would be the case, I want more. So much more. Not only out of this encounter, but every time I can be with him from here on out.He isn’t maintenance. He’s nourishment.
It’s like Bouchard said. Connor has brought something out of me. Something primal that I keep locked up tight for my ownsafety. For whatever reason, Connor held the key to unlock it. The protective and territorial instincts he provokes in me are beyond what I feel for my team. I’d go to the ends of the earth for the Blizzards. But for Connor, I’d burn it all down if it meant I could keep him from harm. If I could make him mine. It’s terrifying. He can and will be ripped from me, and then what will I do? Sink farther into myself and drown like a boat ripped apart by vengeful seas.
But right now, he’s mine and I’m going to luxuriate in this moment of frozen time.
I break our kiss and go back to tasting his skin. I work my way down and around his chest, taking a stop at each nipple to enjoy the taut bud of pink flesh between my lips and under the caress of my tongue. He practically whimpers his approval and I keep going until I meet the waistband of his sweatpants. I gaze up at him.
He bites his kiss-swollen bottom lip and blushes. “You first,” he says, almost shy.
