“I doubt that.” He laughs. “You being gay is the best-kept secret in the league.”
“Me and you together would blow that secret wide open.”
“It doesn’t have to. We’re both already good at hiding.”
“We’re not that good,” I say and finally look at him. Here, in the glow of the Las Vegas Strip, he looks truly beautiful. Handsome and strong, sure of himself as he asks for what he wants. “The truth about both of us lives right underneath the surface. And Bouchard’s already noticed that you’ve brought out my protective streak. That’s only going to get more obvious if I give in to what I want. I’m not the kind of guy who can just be casual about something I’ve claimed as mine.”
Of course this makes him blush, and I come so close to caving in. Instead, I quickly brush his cheek.
“See,” I say. “You can’t conceal this.” I lick my lips. “And I can’t resist it.”
“You’re doing a good job of resisting it right now,” he points out, then turns away from me. “But I guess I see what you’re saying.”
I let our fingers tangle on the railing, concealed by us standing as close as we are. “Trust me, Connor. If I could, I’d make you mine in a heartbeat.”
“I’d like that,” he says and leans his shoulder against mine. I should pull away, but I don’t. I can allow myself this little indulgence if I can’t have anything else.
“Hey!” Bouchard yells, causing us to shift apart. He’s looking at us from across the large balcony, right near the doors that lead back into the club. “What are you two doing?”
“Captain stuff!” I yell back at him. “You wouldn’t understand!”
Connor busts out laughing. He quirks an eyebrow at me. “Captain stuff?”
I shrug at him. “It’s better than the truth.” I push away from the rail and beckon him over with my hand. “Come on. We should go back inside.”
He doesn’t follow. “I think it’s time for me to go to bed.”
Truthfully, it’s time for me to do that too. But I know if I follow him to our room right now, I’ll just end up tumbling into hisinstead of my own and wrapping him in my arms, never letting him go.
“Yeah,” I say. “I wish I could join you, but it’s for the best if I don’t.”
He nods his head and blows out a breath, and I reluctantly turn around and follow Bouchard back inside.
He steps in front of me when the door shuts behind us. He’s looking at me, deadpan. “Captain stuff? Seriously.”
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing.” He shakes his head and laughs, then steps to my side and throws his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s get you back on the dance floor.”
But it’s the last place I want to go.
NINE
Connor
The next morning I feel like I’ve been run over by Gavin, both physically and emotionally, and not in the way I would like. The way my head pounds and the queasiness of my stomach is more reminiscent of the morning after getting trucked unconscious by him during a game. Truthfully, I’d rather that have been the reason I feel like hammered shit this morning as opposed to being hungover. At least the former would have meant I’d had some physical contact with him, which is what I’m really craving.
I’d give anything to know what it feels like to be pressed against his body for longer than a hockey hit. To know what he looks like when he’s hovering over me, both of us sweating in the sheets instead of our jerseys. I want to know what his lips feel like against mine. Are they soft and pliant, or hard and unyielding? I already know what his cock looks like. I’ve snuck a few peeks at it in the locker room. It’s perfect, of course. Mouthwatering, even when soft. I have yet to see him hard, but I know he won’t disappoint me. I wonder if he’s looked at mine. Has he lain awake thinking about sucking me off like I have about him?
I take a quick glance at his bed. Empty. I heard himget up first thing this morning to go to the gym. I heard him get back to the room last night as well. Both times I pretended to be asleep because I’m a complete coward and I can’t face him right now.
He tried to get my attention when he came in last night less than an hour after I did. I lay there with my eyes closed listening to him say he wishes he could, but it’s better for me if he doesn’t.
I don’t believe that. Over the past week, he’s improved my life immeasurably and we haven’t even kissed yet. I’m holding onto that “yet.” I need it to get through my day. I need the possibility of just one kiss to keep me from losing my mind in my frustration of not being able to explore this connection we’re forming. Our chemistry on the ice is perfect. It’s only logical to assume it would carry over into the bedroom.
I look at the watch on my wrist. It’s the first nice thing I ever bought myself with my own money. A Heritage Grand Seiko with an ice-blue dial. The time says eight thirty. I’m supposed to meet my parents for breakfast at nine o’clock in their suite. I wasn’t given an option. Dad texted me the time and instructions to be there before the team’s bus left the practice rink yesterday. Even through text I could tell he was fuming Gavin intercepted his dinner plans for me. This morning I will pay for it.
Getting out of bed, I face a choice. Take the time to shower and be late or throw myself together as I am and be on time, which according to my dad means I show up at least five minutes early to everything.
