After a long pause, I feel her take a shaky breath, and a strangled cry bursts out of her.
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
She gasps, her whole body jerking. “God, I’m sorry,” she chokes out, barely getting the words past the sob.
Did I read this wrong?“Shit, babe,” I whisper, rubbing my hand across her back as she breaks in my arms.
I’m torn. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if she’s crying because she’s happy or?—
God, I hope it’s not regret. Because that meant everything to me.
Her sobs grow louder.Shit.
It tears at my chest, pulling my heart in every direction. I thought I’d reached the top of the mountain I’d been climbing. I’m over here saying I love you, thinking everything’s fine now. Thatwe’refine. Like having sex could somehow erase the past.
Fuck.Who was I kidding? We’ve barely even started chipping away at the mess I made.
But if Alley’s going to cry, I want it to be in my arms. I want to be the one she feels safe with. The one who gets to hold her. Comfort her.
I shift to my side and gently roll her onto her back. Her hands spring to her face, covering it in embarrassment.
“Hey.” My voice drops low, almost a whisper. I thread my fingers into her hair. “Come on, babe. It’s dark. I’ve seen you cry before… You’re beautiful. Let me see you.”
I lower my lips to her clavicle, pressing soft kisses to her skin. Again. And again.
“I’m right here, baby,” I murmur.
My hand drifts across her stomach, soft, explorative, comforting. My lips and fingers graze over every inch of skin as I worship her, trying to make up for everything I’ve done. Because the truth is: she’s crying because of me. Because of what I put her through.
And that stings. I feel it deep—bones aching, nerves burning—like I’m bleeding from every pore. Her pain is my pain.
I kiss my way back up her body. Her sobs begin to quiet, and after a moment, she lowers her hands, wiping beneath her eyes and across her cheeks. I can feel her gaze on me as I taste my way to her lips. When I meet them, I kiss her with fervor. They’re soft, swollen, and they come to life beneath mine. Her fingers dig into my shoulders, and when I finally pull away, her eyes find mine.
I brush my thumb along her jaw. “Talk to me. What’s going on? What are you feeling?”
Her lips tremble, and she swallows. “I’m scared,” she whispers. “I’m so scared.”
I close my eyes, letting it sink in.
She’s scared.Of course she is. Scared she can’t trust me. Scared I’ll hurt her. Scared I’ll fuck up again.
My jaw clenches. My chest tightens. I feel it everywhere. Like pressure building behind my ribs.
I open my eyes and press a kiss to her forehead. “I get it,” I murmur. “You have every reason to be scared. I gave you every reason.” I pause, fingers grazing her hairline. “But I know I can make you happy.” I stroke her cheek, voice low. “I know you. I know how to make you laugh. How you take your coffee. Every song that reminds you of your mom. The guilt you carry with your dad… I know every part of you.”
She doesn’t move. Just lies there, tears silently slipping down her cheeks. Itkillsme.
“You do,” she says softly. “But you’re also the person who broke my heart.”
Fuck.
That guts me.
Feels like the air was sucked out of the room. Like I was hit in the sternum. Clean. Precise.
And deserved.
