I’m glad Jensen came to me—that he trusted me to be his person here. But it feels like it should be Alley sitting here.
The counselor said they’d tell him she filed, but what’s going to happen when that reality hits him? When I’m the one who has to tell him just how bad it really is? What if he relapses again?
I let out an exhale.This whole situation is fucked.
Alley came to see me before she left for Chicago—to tell me goodbye on her way out. She came back two weeks later to grab a few things from the apartment. I’ve never seen her look more defeated. She quit her job, packed her shit in a bag, and left. It killed me. It’sstillkilling me.
And if I’m struggling to handle it, how the hell is Jensen supposed to?
My stomach twists tighter thinking about it. Having to break that news. To see his face. To knock him down when he’s finally clawed his way out of the hell.
I sink deeper into the couch. He asked about Alley every time we talked. I avoided the question every time. Acted like I didn’t know.
As much as I want them to work out, I’m not holding my breath. Alley’s done. She’s my friend, and I care about her. But she never asks about Jensen. I just hope he’s not clinging to some false sense of what’s waiting for him back home.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket, and I pull it out.
Megan
Do you have him yet? How is he?
A small smile tugs at my upper lip. She cares more than she lets on.
Not yet. I’m here now. Just waiting.
Moments later, I’m greeted by a middle-aged man named Tobias. He leads me down a quiet hallway to a small office with three chairs in front of a desk.
“Thanks for coming, Matt,” he says, settling into his chair. “Jensen’s made a lot of progress. I think you’ll see that for yourself, but I wanted to give you a bit of a heads-up before he gets here and we go over everything.”
I sit, nodding slowly. “I’m all ears.”
He leans forward, elbows on his knees. “He’s clear-headed. Engaged. He’s worked the steps. Been brutally honest in therapy. Group work, individual sessions, developing good habits, working out… he’s done it all. We’re proud of how far he’s come.”
I swallow the lump rising in my throat. “That’s good. That’s really good.”
“It is. But he’s still holding on to the idea that he’ll win Alley back.”
Shit.There it is.
“He’s not delusional,” Tobias adds quickly. “He knows it won’t be easy, but… he hasn’t fully let go of that hope yet. And in recovery, sometimes that kind of hope is what keeps people grounded.”
“So, he’s doing well, but she’s still his motivation?” I ask.
“Part of it, yes. The rest is genuine. You’ll see.”
Great. And I’m the one who gets to deliver the blow.
I glance toward the door, pulse picking up. “He knows she filed?”
Tobias nods. “I told him. A little over a month ago, after we talked it through with the team. It hit him hard, but it also pushed him deeper into the work. He had to grieve it. Process it. Imagine a future where she isn’t waiting at the end of all this.”
I nod slowly. “And now?”
“He’s still scared of that future,” Tobias says. “But he’s facing it. Keep an eye on him, but let him breathe. He’s got to stand on his own now. He’s been open about his triggers, but that doesn’t mean he won’t run into new ones. Stress, rejection, shame—those are big ones. And transitions, like reentering normal life, can stir a lot of that up.”
I shift in my seat, feeling like I should be taking notes or something.Fuck, I’m not equipped for this shit.
“If you notice him pulling away from people, skipping meetings, saying he’s ‘fine’ all the time when he’s clearly not? Those are red flags. Big emotional swings are normal, but if they turn into avoidance—especially around difficult conversations—he might need a reset. He’s learned to reach out, but if that stops… if he goes radio silent, that’s when it’s time to step in.”
