It feels like I was halfway up the fucking mountain, finally breathing, and you shoved me off the edge.
I’m mad at you, Alley. God, I’m so fucking mad at you.
I’ve never been mad at you before.
Not when you yelled at me. Not when you flushed my pills. Not even when you’d tell Matt shit I’d done. I wasn’t mad. I deserved all of that.
But today?
This broke me.
You walked away.
You filed.
We were the one thing I always believed in.
I know I hurt you. I know I fucked up. And I’ll probably never fully understand how deep that pain goes, especially from your side.
But Jesus… you’re just going to walk away?
After everything we’ve been through? After knowing how goddamn good we are together? How good we could be again?
I need you to hear me right now. Really fucking hear me.
You are the ONLY one for me.
Since the moment I saw you, since I woke up after surgery and saw your face, I haven’t thought about anyone else. Not once. Not in passing. Not in private. Not even in here, when I’ve been more alone than ever.
Not when I was spiraling. Not when I was using. Not now.
I’ve never wanted anyone else.
And I never will.
I’ll never want to kiss another woman.
Couldn’t sit across from someone else at dinner without wishing it was you.
No one else will ever be good enough.
The thought of you not being in my life is unbearable.
But worse than that?
I hate myself for putting you in this position.
This is on me.
All of it.
I know that.
I take full responsibility. But God, please give me another chance. If there’s even a small part of you that remembers the good…
Please.
Don’t let this be the end.
